BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
Before we get into this, I want to everyone to watch the following video. I don’t care what’s going on in your life at this moment. Upon viewing the following video, your mind will be AT LEAST mildly blown. Ladies and gentlemen, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin…
That just happened.
It’s that time of year again. WrestleMania is riiiiight around the corner. For anyone that appreciates the art and entertainment of professional wrestling, this is YOUR time of the year. It’s when the biggest moments, the biggest matches, and the best wrestling memories come to surface. I know everyone has their own favorite “WrestleMania moments”. These moments come from seeing a big thing happen that’s awesome or even the experience of watching it live with friends.
So with that, I think about the music aspect of it all. I’m sure you can Google search and look around and find about a million columns written on the topic. I’ve written a few myself. Wrestling fans love talking about entrance music. It’s part of the big picture that is the show. I spent many hours as a child humming and singing along to wrestling theme songs. I know I’m not alone.
One of the first things that come to mind are all of the music related gimmicks and characters. Occasionally, professional wrestling will take a “music” theme farther than the promo packages, entrance music, and celebrity appearances.
Last year I covered music videos that have wrestling personalities appearing in them. Today we’re going to take a look at some of the music videos of professional wrestling. Not those rare cases like Chris Jericho going out and rocking it with Fozzy or Jeff Hardy’s music endeavors or Lita’s punk band or even “Macho Man” Randy Savage’s attempt at rapping. I’m talking about “in character” performances that saw the music videos hit the airwaves.
This time it’s the wrestler’s themselves who are the music performer!
I’ll warn you now, most of these are bad… like cringe worthy bad! But if you’re a fan, you’ll click and watch… and still probably cringe…
VII.] “ Bad Bad Man ” by John Cena
John Cena’s rapper character is what put the dude on the map. At the time it was fresh, contemporary, edgy, and really entertaining. Obviously, the times have changed quite drastically. The first big track was “Basic Thuganomics” and all was good. Then as he became more popular he dulled down the edges to the point of utter cookie cutter clean baby face. The kids love him and that’s fine, but he just about abandoned his music “career” at this point. Before he completely dropped it, he put out You Can’t See Me. The nerve wrecking “The Time Is Now” theme is on there, but oddly enough it wasn’t the single. The first single was “Bad, Bad Man”. The music video parodies 1980’s pop culture and is mildly entertaining. The song isn’t the worst when you remind yourself “this is a professional wrestler making a rap song and video”. Then again, even when grading it on THAT curve it’s not all that awesome. The interesting thing is that this album actually made it to 15 on the Billboard 200 and this song would be used in the trailers for the underrated Seth Rogan movie “Observe and Report”. For wrestling fans, the real irony is that this song was actually used in the trailers for the last season of the FX drama “The Shield”. Isn’t that a bit peculiar?
VI.] “Entrance Theme(Debut)” by Men on A Mission (sung by “Oscar”)
In the early 90’s, the world of “hip hop” was still in the neon colored graffiti looking era of “Fresh Prince” and Kriss Kross. The “gangsta rap” was out there, but not quite main stream enough to be scaring the shit out of Republicans, grandparents, and especially Republican grandparents. So what was the WWF to do? They took the parental friendly “silly” nature of “Fresh Prince” and pinned it on two black wrestlers. “Mabel” and “Mo” were the tag team and they were led to the ring by “Oscar”, their rapping manager. They were straight from the “ghetto” and brought a “positive message” to the kids. I was about ten years old when these guys debuted so I was pulled in hook, line, and sinker. I even recall picking Mabel as my pick to win the 1994 Royal Rumble. They had plenty of different raps. “Oscar” was a legit stage rapper and free-styled plenty of their entrance songs. The one that stands out to me is their debut. It is what it is. It fits the time period perfectly (minus the three years for wrestling to typically catch up). I can’t listen to this song or songs like it every day, but everyone needs to hear a “put your hands in the air!” song at least once a month.
V.] “Dance With 3 Count” by 3 Count
In late 1999/early 2000, WCW had their finger on the pulse of the music world when they introduced wrestling’s first boy band group “3 Count”. It was Shane Helms, Shannon Moore, and Evan Karagias basically doing their best NSync or LFO impression. It was a lot of fun. They got stuck with a weird character, but made the best of it. As part of that, Jimmy Hart wrote them a few songs to debut with. The first video was “Can’t Get You Outta My Heart” and it got some attention. Before too long, they recorded a new song titled “Dance With 3 Count”. In my expert opinion, it’s a much better song. It’s cheesy as can be. It references “Brittney Spears being kinda cute”, them “liking Backstreet Boys and NSync too”, and even “watching TRL on MTV” so it’s like a pop culture time capsule of the worst of pop music at the time. Most guys rolled their eyes and girls loved them. Then they’d show up and win over everyone’s attention by putting on some great high flying matches at the time. Their Jung Dragon feud is worth checking out for sure. The whole thing jumped the shark when Tank Abbot joined up. It was funny, but there was a lot more life left to this gimmick. I guess if you think about it, Shane Helms ended up being the Justin Timberlake of the group. Weird.
IV.] “With My Baby Tonight” by Jeff Jarrett (or was it “The Roadie!?!?!)
Some of these picks are almost based purely on nostalgia. This was a fun time period in the WWF. Things weren’t the “coolest”, but the actual wrestling was so enthralling that you’d not worry about how lame shit like this was. For months the “Double J” character hyped up his country music talents. Then finally, he manned up and performed this song on Pay Per View. It was obviously lip synced, later we’d find out by “The Roadie” aka “Road Dogg” Jesse James, but all in all it’s a solid tune. I remember seeing this performance and the music video as a kid and being taken back by how good it was. You’d expect the bad guy to suck. As a kid you want to see the bad guy look badly, but instead it just shocked you. It’s not a “timeless classic” or anything like that, but it does show off that Jesse James had some decent vocal skills.
III.] “ Honky Tonk Man” by The Honky Tonk Man
I got long sideburns.
And my hair slicked back.
I'm gonna do your town in my pink Cadillac.
I'm just a Honky Tonk Man! (He's a Honky Tonk Man!)
I'm just a Honky Tonk Man! (He's a Honky Tonk Man!)
I'm just a Honky Tonk Man!
I'm cool! I'm cocky! I'm bad!
Those are the masterfully crafted lyrics to “Honky Tonk Man” by The Honky Tonk Man. In the late 80’s Wayne Ferris made his way to the WWF. He came in and the crowd instantly hated him. He would go on to be one of the best mid card heels the WWF ever had. The character was a cross between a bad Elvis impersonator and a really cool Rock-a-Billy. H.T.M. would have random music spots through -out his awesome career, but this theme song is the coolest. In fact, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that The Honky Tonk Man was a one hit wonder.
II.] “Badstreet USA” by The Fabulous Freebirds
Michael “P.S.” Hayes, “Bam Bam” Terry Gordy and Buddy Roberts were bad asses. As the flamboyant gang “The Fabulous Freebirds”, these three men tore up the tag team scenes across the land in the late 70’s. Their run against the Von Erichs in World Class was one of the best feuds ever. As good as they were in the ring; it’s the gimmick work that’s even more remarkable. It’s said the Freebirds were actually the first people in wrestling to use rock and roll entrance music. It’s hard to imagine wrestling without entrance music, isn’t it? They not only used rock music, but they’d eventually use their OWN created music. Hayes had a side project in a band so he took his skills to the ring and recorded “Badstreet USA”. For a pop rock song from the early 80’s, I can actually see this song being “cool” for the times. In retrospect, it’s a little silly but you really have to appreciate the balls out effort and charisma that Hayes put out there with this wrestling music gem.
I.] “I Hate Rap” by West Texas Rednecks
Ironically, I hate country music. Apparently the only country music I like is recorded by professional wrestlers. The West Texas Rednecks were a WCW stable in the late 90’s that didn’t really get a good run in. It’s Curt Hennig, Bobby Duncum Jr., Barry Windham, Kendall Windham, and then “Curly Bill” (Virgil!). It shouldn’t have worked, but they pulled it off with ease. They were stereotypical cowboys, yet the characters were played so well and amusingly that they made the lamest of things fun. This song is an example of that. This song was awesome. The lyrics are simplistic and the melody is actually really catchy. It’s exactly what most popular country songs sound like, but it’s entertaining and Curt Hennig rocks. And like the man said, “He didn’t lip sync that either!” Simply perfect.
I’m sure I’ve missed about three dozen other perfectly valid choices. What is YOUR favorite “music gimmick” music video/song?
|
