BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
“Worst Case Scenario” is a new take on the concept of “fantasy booking”. For years professional wrestling fans would spend endless hours of thinking up the coolest things that could happen. Why waste the energy? This only leads to high expectations. “Worst Case Scenario” flips that. Instead of looking through rose colored glasses, let’s take a bi-weekly look at the worst possible scenarios in professional wrestling. I’m not going to be malicious or anything too mean, but I will not refrain from letting my brain come up with the worst possible shit I can. Sadly, it seems the writers and producers of mainstream TV wrestling and the mainstream iPPV level indies are doing the same thing but charging us for it. And now…
“TNA Adopts Sport Rules”
TNA has tried to be more “cutting edge” in the past. They’ve even had a tie-in with the UFC and MMA for a cup of coffee. It just didn’t work. The crossover of MMA and TNA just doesn’t work. I’m not saying the daunting task of interlocking the two “sports” is impossible, but for TNA in this era it totally is.
But that doesn’t mean TNA couldn’t try other horrible ideas. To really try to embrace to the “rules of sports”, TNA would adopt a whole new direction. The rules of wrestling as we know it would change. TNA would not just steal the rules and style of one sport, but bits and pieces from al l of them! Yes… ALL OF THEM!
If a wrestler uses a low blow, rakes an eye, etc. they will see a flag thrown. If a wrestler disregards the flag they are automatically disqualified. The wrestler who gets the flag thrown on them loses points.
Speaking of points, if you win a match you have a chance to go for a “Point after”. Just like football. Say you get a 3 count and your opponent is still out. You can attempt to roll them back up for a single one count, like amateur wrestling. This gets you a “point after”. You can even attempt to hit a top rope move on them for “two points”. If you miss or they kick out you lose ALL your points. Harsh, but it’s the rules of the NEW TNA…
In tag team matches, there shall be penalty boxes. If a flag is thrown in a tag team match, the offending wrestler is forced to sit in a penalty box for 60 seconds for the first offense, 120 for the second, and 180 for the third.
Time outs… yep, time outs! If you are caught in a submission move or need a break to get your shit together then you can call a time out. Luckily for the stalling heels, there is one per half.
Yep, halves. In fact, in TNA they will be adopting a “four quarter” match format. Each match will be 12 minutes. Four quarters of 3 minutes.
This is all leading to the obvious… pads! TNA will half to adopt a uniformed padded outfit. Each wrestler would pretty much be wearing customized jerseys with odd looking pads AND head gear.
The most important part of all of this, the refs get whistles.
Thank you. Goodnight.
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