BY K.L. DASH
HI My name is K.L. I’m a dancer. I'm a singer. I'm an actress. I'm a professional princess and I'm a former pageant girl. Oh yeah, and im a female pro-wrestler - well aspiring anyway. I'm probably nothing great but I dream to be someday. Read this blog, leave me questions. Get a view into "the biz", my mind, and all the places you never knew you wanted to go.
On this Tuesday before father’s day I find it fitting to tell you about my father. I can tell you honestly I don’t know much about him. I have mentioned before he passed away when I was in the fourth grade. Before then I can only remember maybe five occurrences when I spent time with him and only have two vivid memories of what happened during those times. The first is him telling me he always wondered what my big eyes were concentrating on, he taught me what the term day-dreamer was, and then handed me my first snow globe with a “penny” theme and said “penny for your thoughts” (see, even then I was having my daydream “JAZZZZZ” moments). This moment would begin a small bond where he would bring me a snow globe every time he was able to see me or ship one on an important holiday. I ended up having just over ten, although I cannot remember most of the times I was given these, I just know they are from him.
My second vivid memory of him is when were driving in his truck, he asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I know I listed a few things including a singer, ballerina, actress, and “star.” All of these ambitious and all of these attainable <--sarcasm – he said to me, “Sweet heart, you can do whatever you want to do if you put your mind to it.” And that was it. I lived by this. Anyone who knows me knows I keep my proverbial spoons in many proverbial pots. I want to do and be EVERYTHING and I do, because I put my mind to it!
When speaking to me about wrestling many people ask me why I chose to do it, why I ended up liking it, about it being fake (GRRRRRRRRRRR) and many times it ends in where I do it, and why I chose that place to learn. The most simple answer to this is it is the closest/only place around. I mean, there are a few other places… but I have heard how brutal wrestling schools can be… and I heard this one was in a church, I hoped it couldn’t be nearly as brutal. And although I have had a few difficulties it really has been a pleasant experience! This, and the fact that whence I let the cat out of the bag about my training, two friends – Keith & Mikey (hey maybe you’ve heard of them) – who are big wrestling fans and former wrestlers their selves told me if I had come to them asking for advice where to go my trainer is the guy they would have sent me to him. These reasons and a few signs made my decision.
I believe a lot in “signs.” I am only human – as are we all – and I pray to God for many things. I don’t think God answers every human though signs, just the ones that need them, as my mind is in a million different things at once how can I know if what I as a human am choosing to do is what I AM supposed to be doing… God knows that I am like this. Therefore, he sends THIS human signs. My second week at training, the first week I would be getting into the ring I met my trainer, Bill. I remembered his name immediately because it was that of my step-fathers, and after a few moments talking with him he gave me a skeptical look (you’d have to see me, and you too would wonder how on earth I think I might be able to be a wrestler, I’m tiny – by wrestling standards, on the shorter side, and really girly) and asked if I thought I could do this. I told him yes, I said “I know my heart and mind can and want to. I’m not afraid of the work, but I’m not sure my body can do it” and I chuckled nervously. Then Bill said “well, hey – your halfway there, you can do whatever you want to do if you put your mind to it.” And that was it. That’s how I knew everything everyone had told me about this place was right and it is where I was supposed to learn. Bill had the same words as my father and wanted me to strive by my life-long mindset.
You can do whatever you want to do if you put your mind to it
Every time I began to doubt myself and still today during practices I remember that. In fact, I was so close to quitting a few weeks in that even this mantra repeating in my head wasn’t helping. Bill took me aside and talked to me calmly and kindly. He told me he really thinks if I could get past “being a girl” I could do this and I told him I didn’t need a bully whist at practice, that environment isn’t conducive for learning, but I needed a mentor. And we talked longer and laid the pavement to build a friendship/mentor-like relationship. Then the conversation ended somehow with Bill telling about his ring name “Kenny” and I mentally slapped myself. I wanted to know I could do this and should be here and Bill had already said things just like my father, had the name of my step-father… but then his ring name “Kenny” is that of my paternal fathers name – Kenneth. I knew I needed to truly put my mind in it and trust this guy. And so I have. I always attempt anything he tells me too and when fear is in my eyes and radiating off of me he isn’t a jerk, yelling at me to try, but he builds me up to it with calm and kind words. He recognizes sometimes girls need to be trained differently than boys and you could really throw away a lot of talent by not just spending a minute longer on someone. When I am having rough patches in life he cares about it and tries to stay “relevant” with his students. He is TRULY a teacher and a friend. For all the “bad things” I have heard about Bill/Kenny he has shown himself ten times over not being those things. We are all but human.
On this father’s day I want to honor my father who is no longer with us – thank you Kenneth Edwards for bringing me into this world and for the but few memories of goodwill I have of you; my step father Bill Van Linden, thank you for raising my youngest brother and assisting in my life; And I want to thank my “wrestling dad” who is a weird mix of a someone I personally look up to and someone who half heartedly hits on me – hahahahahaha. And I want to thank him for all the extra time he takes on me, for believing in me, and for letting me “find a friend in him” - THANKS SISTER!
|
