[BLOG]DAILY FOURNICATION
"4 Things I Learned From Waynes World"
04/05/11
BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER

(FOUR) SHWINGS ARE ACCEPTABLE
When an attractive female walks by it’s perfectly acceptable to give the air one single hump and proclaim “Shwing!” I never really got this, but I am 100% positive that in my late grade school years I participated in this act more than once. But Wayne and Garth are awesome and the good guys so this was NOT deemed perverted or improper.


(THREE) NEVER TRUST ROB LOWE
If Rob Lowe shows up at your house offering you’re a contract with a television network, don’t take it. Lowe plays “Benjamin”, a sleazy television executive. He comes across their public access show on a fluke and then goes to sign them up. He then ends up trying to screw over Wayne and Garth AND trying to sneak his way into Wayne’s girlfriend’s bed. He saw his comeuppance in the end, but still… don’t trust him.


(TWO) IF YOU GOTTA SPEW, SPEW IN THIS
They pick up their drunk friend and before entering the car Garth offers him a small paper cup and the advice “if you gotta spew… spew in this”. I’ve learned this one the hard way. In times I’ve been drunk or others around me giving them a bag almost ensures they’ll throw up. I mean who wants to be that guy who stumbles around with a bag in their hand? How do you explain that? What I think the paper cup Garth gave the guy helped the guy fight it back. Well that, and singing along to Queen. Works everytime.


(ONE) EXTRA HAPPY ENDINGS
One thing you have to love about Wayne’s World is that they typically provide a few outcomes at the end. By merely wiggling their hands at the screen and making a weird noise, they can warp the scene into a more enjoyable one. In the first movie, they had the sad ending, the Scooby-doo ending, AND the mega-happy ending. The second film sees a sad ending, the “Thelma & Louise ending, and again a happy ending. No matter what, by the time they’re done you’re satisfied. Excellent.




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