BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) “NOT!”
I do miss this one. I was a big “Wayne’s World” fan, but the “not!” thing got old quick. I really wish this wouldn’t have been added to our vernacular. How many times did we hear “Yeah, you can have a million dollars… NOT!” or some other lame variation of that. That was so cool…. Not!
(THREE) “YEAH BABY!”/”VERY NICE!”
I quote movies. Anyone who enjoys movies has done it. There’s nothing too embarrassing about it. It’s just those who take it too far. It’s always that one guy who uses the same quotes to ruin it for everyone. The Austin Powers “Yeah Baby!” would eventually turn into the Borat “Very Nice!” and then so on and so on. I won’t even lie about this though. As I started this paragraph I started thinking how awesome it would be if I started using these really outdated movie quotes now. It would get old quick, but I’d find some comfort in retroactively annoying people. Very Nice!
(TWO) “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!”
I remember hearing this joke in the 80’s/90’s. You hear something somewhat sexual or something stupid with an innuendo attached and then you say “that’s what she said!” It was funny in a funny way back then. Now some people saw it on The Office and say it because they love Michael Scott. That’s on par with the lameness of the “yeah baby!”/”very nice!” thing. But sadly, some people use this term in an ironic way. It’s like saying “yeah, I live under a rock... and quite possible have no real sense of humor… but look! I said something funny! I’m funny! Relate to me! looove me!” I may be being a little rough… but…. That’s what she said!
(ONE) “REALLY?”
I can’t get over this one. I hate that I find myself sneaking it in on the rare occasion. It was okay when “Weekend Update” did it like five years ago. It was a good annoying heel tactic for “The Miz” in WWE like two years ago. How horrible has society become when children, women, and grown men are being snarky shitheads? Does anything “shocking” or “odd” deserve some shit head cocking their head and saying “Really?” It’s not just “This is a really cool movie” or “Do you really think this movie is cool?”. It’s this snobbish, snarky, douche, shit head “real-lee?” It’s more like “You like that movie? Real-Lee? REAL-LEE?” I’ve seen this in commercials for random household items featuring soccer moms. Soccer moms! Really!
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