BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) PLASTIC SINGING FISH
I think every so often a plastic singing fish will resurface for ironic purposes. I’d just like to see them come back in general. I don’t know if I was a bad person or something, but no one ever bought me a plastic singing fish. My only gripe is the shitty song selection. It would be SO MUCH cooler if you could put a CD in it or something and enjoy the plastic fish rock out to whatever you’d choose. THAT would make this horrible contraption much cooler.
(THREE) STRETCH ARMSTRONG
I think my parents were smart enough to only buy me one Stretch Armstrong. I remember getting hyped up for it because it could stretch out like a billion miles and come snapping back. I can honestly say I ripped an arm off my Stretch Armstrong toy. Either I was a freakin’ beast at the age of nine or someone bought me a knock off. I say we find out! Someone get a Stretch Armstrong stat!
(TWO) DRIVE-IN MOVIES
Sitting in car and watching a movie outside on a big screen was so cool. A lot of my fondest memories of watching movies as a child were from my parents beat up cars in horrible mosquito filled summers. I saw tons of classic movies at the drive in. From “Masters of the Universe” to “Howard The Duck” to “CB4” to “Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey”. It was always a bigger event than just going into a cinema and watching in a crowd of strangers. Drive in movies are still out there if you look, but I’d love to see a resurgence.
(ONE) MAGIC EYE
I’m not going to lie any more. I’ve spent too many years afraid to confront the truth. If I have every told you that I can see the hidden image in a magic eye picture I blatantly lied to you. I’ve tried and tried, but I’ve never actually seen anything in a “magic eye”. I remember the books in school. Kids would look at it and share in the fun of pointing out the eye-trick of a hidden image. I wish these were around more today because I really feel that I could spot that shit now as a “grown ass man”.
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