BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) WHY DO ALL NEW BIG KID MOVIE FRANCHISES NEED TO BE BASED OFF BOOKS?
I think the trick to getting a children movie made is to write a couple books first. Once the books are out there and have a few fans, they’re bought and turned into movies. At that point adults will watch the movies and read the books and force their children to obsess over it.
(THREE) SHOULDN’T WE CELEBRATE FOURTH OF JULY FOR MORE THAN ONE DAY?
It’s the birthday of our country. The NBA All-Star Game gets an entire weekend. Are you saying we can’t take a few days out of our lives to celebrate America? I’m not a huge fireworks and parade guy, but this just makes sense. Do we not have pride? I’m recommending July 1st through 4th. We can just dub it “Four of July”. C’mon! Get behind it!
(TWO) WHY IS POSTAGE SO EXPENSIVE AGAIN?
Why does it cost so much to send mail? I know the idea of supply and demand. The demand is down so the supply costs more. It’s all e-mail’s fault. I get all of this. But at the same time, technology has improved. Machines can sort, airplanes go all over, and you can get overnight delivery across an entire country in most cases.
(ONE) SLEEPING WITH ONE EYE OPEN.
How the hell can someone sleep with one eye open? The idea of sleep is to close your eyes and rest. If you have one eye open that means you’re being alert. How is that resting? Sleep is meant to be had with TWO eyes closed. Otherwise, it’s pretending to sleep with one eye open. Otherwise, it’s not real.
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