BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) REHAB
We don’t know what’s going on in Lindsay Lohan’s head or what’s REALLY going on in her life. But of course, she’s a celebrity and is often in the media doing horrible things so we find ourselves with a false mind to judge her. She’s a girl in her early 20s with a lot of money to spend and access to anything she practically wants. Without being raised right and level headed, most would succumb to this. It’s 2010. Odds are we all know at least one person who is a screw up. Sometimes they grow up and overcome it, sometimes not. We’re not giving Lohan a chance either way. I would assume she just doesn’t really take rehab seriously. In the past she’s enrolled, did her time, got out and went and celebrated her homecoming with friends at a night club. She continues to keep getting arrested and caught for drugs, drinking, and just excessive fun. She can’t be taking rehab seriously, can she? I would hope she’s not that weak of a person. I’m not saying for her to go on “Celebrity Rehab”, even though I’d watch in a heartbeat, but get some serious help; like live-in assistance, a half way house, or something extreme. She’s on track to overdose. There’s no nice way of putting it.
(THREE) A BOOK DEAL
This would be the ultimate reset button for her. If she penned a “tell all” book, got everything out there and on the table it would surely isolate her from the “scene” that’s killing her and bring her a HUGE paycheck. For her to just say, “This is what happened, this is who I did it with, and this is now officially a thing of my past” would help her a lot. And who knows, maybe other people will read it and learn from her mistakes. She’s made a lot of them so we don’t have to. Of course this would be a huge deal and the book would make a lot of money. She could rightfully capitalize on the scratch and take a hiatus from Hollywood with it or she could go one better and donate all the money from it to a foundation to help young people fight addiction. Eh, why not?
(TWO) INDEPENDENT MOVIES
Major studios will most likely be a bit hesitant to give Li-Lo a chance after her spree of screw ups. The risk and insurance costs would be a hefty overhead and let’s be realistic, she’s kind of unproven. She’s proven she can do generic Disney and generic teen type of movies but that can only take her so far. She’s had a few “adult” roles, but nothing really profound or proven as a box office draw. She did well in Emilo Estevez’s “Bobby”, I appreciated her work in the underwhelming “Chapter 27”, and she done others with reasonable praise. The point is that while the major companies may not want her just yet, the smaller companies would take her in a heartbeat. She’s like the perfect mix of a Bret Easton Ellis and Chuck Palahniuk character. Hell, give me a budget and rights to Chucks “Invisible Monsters” and you have you’ll have your main character in Lohan. It can be done and hopefully it will. She’s got a role as a gun toting nun in the upcoming Robert Rodriguez film “Machete”. There’s already a lot of buzz about that one. Then she’s got the Linda Lovelace movie. Lovelace, for those with got the internet installed for the first time this week, was an iconic porn star. Lohan is playing Lovelace in what’s being titled “Inferno”. There’s TONS of potential in get having a second coming via the world of independent movies. It just about completely rests with her.
(ONE) CABLE TELEVISION
“Idle hands are the devils playthings” is something people with a little too much free time on their hands tend to say. I’ve never heard if she has anything against the idea of doing a full on series, but I think it would be great for her. If she’s constantly working on a television show she might not have as much time to get into trouble. I’m not saying a wacky CBS comedy or anything like that. She belongs on a HBO, a SHOWTIME, or even an AMC. Gone are the days in which television actors are looked down upon. You have Michael C. Hall, Toni Collette, Edie Falco, Bryan Cranston, and so many others who are respected, acclaimed, and making good money doing work for TV. She’s done a little TV in the past with one episode of “King of The Hill”, one “70’s Show”, and a couple “Ugly Betty” episodes. With her iffy track record from the past few years, this would be a great showcase for her given the script is good. At this stage in her young career and life, she can easily pull off doing ALL four of these. She can get out, write the book while in rehab as some smart cable company locks her into a developmental deal. Then once she’s ready she releases the book, does a 10-13 episode a season cable series, and get in a few indie films during her down time. I honestly feel that if she did this, she’d rebound her status and potentially save herself from her own worst enemy; Lindsay Lohan.
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