BY KAY-ELLE DASH
 
Welcome to the tiniest bit of Estrogen in this all man clubhouse. Tune in each week to get your dose of nonsensical Kay-Elle chatter. Why do I think you should read my column? I don’t. Why will you? Probably because I will blow your mind, make no sense, but also make a world of sense all at once.
I’m not liberal, but I'm not conservative. You also can’t say I “ride the fence” because that isn’t quite me either. I’m strong headed and believe what I believe generally with no reason to believe it and wont let you change my mind. You may think I think with the mind of a child, but that’s what’s great about me. Has their ever been a funny show called “Adults say the darnedest things” - No. But kids, kids DO say the darnedest thing; So I take pride in thinking like one.
I don’t have a real plan for this; I may interview fellow Digital Lizard veterans. I may summarize or review music, movies, plays, ect. I may give you health tips or home remedies or tips on being crafty or recipes (I’m a regular Martha Stewart – you know minus becoming popular for doing something wives have done for hundreds of years, embezzling, lying, then going to jail, only to be released and gain the publics heart doing the same thing) I also may just rant. That’s my specialty.
You want to know more about me? Ugh I hate bios. They are so generic and just make the person seem big headed listing all their accomplishments but leaving out all the terrible things they’ve been though or done that would ultimately let you judge that persons book of a life by its cover. But, let us embark on this journey so you can judge this columnist by the following paragraphs.
Salutations. I’m Kate-Lynn “Kay-Elle” Edwards. At the moment I’m 23, 135 lbs, 5’4ish, brown hair with one pink streak, green eyes, a nose dusted with freckles, and not tan but not white. If you’re a fan of Digital Lizard then you know I’ve costarred in DLP’s “All the Love in the World” as Allison Campbell. My experiences also include acting, singing, and dancing since the young age of 4. My very first role ever was Arainea of “Charlottes web” and my fist line was “what’s my Mothers middle initial” “A” “then my name shall be Arainea.” I still practice my art in many community theatre shows across northwest Indiana in roles ranging from Shakespeare’s “Othello” as Desdemona to the new musical about the crazy pair of Beales of the 70’s from “Grey Gardens” as young Edie - I’m currently working on another film with DLP as well.
I attended Columbia College Chicago for a while but now am beginning classes for early childhood education. That’s a scary thought isn’t it? Me crafting the minds of our youth of America. Actually, if you really knew me you’d think I couldn’t do worse for the children then half the crack head abusive parents they already have. My silly rantings may actually show a child how to think instead of walking the streets dealing drugs or selling their bodies. Yeah, I’m going to pull that card. When it’s harder for me to get funding for school because I DIDN’T get pregnant at 14 - I have a problem with kids having sex. Heck – kids having sex even without conceiving is a problem for me. If your 14 and 15 and you cannot even learn how to not be like Degrassi then you are a child. And until you stop idolizing Degrassi you don’t deserve school funding
Oh, this next statement with is rich, it’ll blow your mind and ultimately make you NOT return to my column. I’m a practicing wear-it-on-my-sleeve God fearing Christian. Oh go on with your judgments. But let me keep your eye for just a moment to say just because I have religion is not reason for you to hold me at a higher level and shove every mistake I’ve ever made in my life in my face because you feel insecure of your eternal state or that your not a good person. I am only human. I do not think I am better then you, but just as you have the right to openly express every swear word in the book when addressing my religion, this is America, and I have every right to have my religion and discuss with you when I believe your wrong. You will never catch me telling you your wrong because who am I to judge you. (I would also hope that just because you know that about me you will still keep an open mind, ask Mikey or Keith, I’m smarter then the average bear… I’m different then the average Christian)
If any of this was appealing to you I invite you to come back weekly and become a fan of yours truly – if nothing appealed to you then I double invite you. You’re probably the offended kind of person that needs to hear all this. And that’s saying a lot, because in real life, I’m not an offensive person, I’m rather respectful. So if you were the tiniest bit offended stop holding a grudge towards me and evaluate your life.
Well that’s me in my estrogen nutshell – and what ultimately makes me the original estrogen nut in this man mix.
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