BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
I sincerely feel my writing, blogging, and quasi-public rambles are winding down. I just don’t have it in me. The creative drive has been sucked out of me and all that’s left is this strange nothing. For years I’d put my best foot forward and reach for the stars. I don’t regret any of it, but there has to be a time to move on. That time is coming.
It’s not that I don’t want to be creative or that I have writers block. I could continue to spew out inane opinions for years. The “doing” isn’t my problem. It’s the reason. It’s not fun. I don’t find any enjoyment or fulfillment on any level writing or doing anything I’m known for doing to those who know me. It’s a lost cause.
I took a hiatus for a few weeks because I just couldn’t face pushing myself to continue to do what feels like hollow work. During that time I did a whole lot of soul searching and a whole lot of nothing. Instead of pretending any of my efforts matter, it felt right to “cut my losses” so to speak. Still, people kept asking me “are you going to write anymore?” or “are you done writing and producing?” I felt obligated to give myself a few writing assignments to see if I could get the “mojo” to jump start again. So I wrote and I wrote.
Nothing.
There is still no fulfillment. There is still no desire. There is still no reason. At this point, I have a mild resentment towards myself for spending hours writing internet content. Was it a waste of time? Sadly, it feels that way. I hope someone out there finds something of value in my rambles. I guess until further notice all of this can be considered my “farewell tour”. I have a pretty laid out schedule for columns that’ll at least get us through the end of the year. At that point, who knows? Who cares?
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