BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
I’m really considering taking a little vacation from wrestling. It seems that every few years I need to take a few months off from wrestling television and recharge my batteries. I’ll still read results, keep up on news, and watch the PPV’s so I’ll still have a healthy dose of WWE in my life, but not nearly as much. Staying awake through three hours of RAW, two hours of Smackdown, and then random hours of NXT, Main Event, Superstars, Interviews, DVD specials, etc. etc. etc. There is more content than quality right now. It’s a simple as that. In the past watching wrestling wasn’t a full two hours of greatness, but the awesome stuff that happened made it worth watching and must see. As talented as the current batch of rising stars are, the story structure and other stuff makes it unwatchable. Basically what’s the point of watching just to see Dean Ambrose when you’re too sleepy from the rest of the show to give a shit? I’m not saying my viewership matters at all to the WWE machine or to anyone reading this. I just think it’s interesting that right now the WWE is so boring that a lifelong fan is having no problem with stepping away. And really, I doubt I’m alone.
Before I take my ball (remote) and go home (turn the channel) for the summer we have another WWE PPV on the horizon. This show is called “Payback”, which instantly makes me think of a bad Mel Gibson movie. That makes me think about Mel Gibson being a racist bigot. THAT makes me think about things I don’t like. Then I’m reminded that CM Punk is back for the show. It’s in Chicago so the idea of actually attending did cross my mind. I’ve been to the Allstate Arena for tons of great shows like WrestleMania 13, a random really good No Mercy PPV, a RAW, and more randomness. It’s a fun place. It’s NOT CHICAGO. It’s the suburb that has the crappy airports and call girl hotels. They pretend it’s Chicago because it’s close enough and it looks good on paper, but it’s always going to be Rosemont kiddos.
They didn’t announce really anything going into the last week of promo. As of now there are only a few matches set up. The main event is the “Three Stages of Hell” match. It keeps changing so by the time the actual match starts it’ll most likely be a “Lumber-Jill in a Cell” Match. Well, maybe not a “Lumber-Jill in a Cell” Match, that’s more a personal fantasy. I think at one point it was just an ambulance match and then it wasn’t. Then it’s a Three Stages of Hell gimmick but I’m fairly certain the stipulations never included a “Lumberjack Match” before. What happened to “First Blood”, “Hell In a Cell”, or even “Last Man Standing”? This is some bullshit rules. Ideally a REAL “Three Stages of Hell” Match should be a submission match, cage match, and ladder match. But we can’t use bullshit cartoony stipulations. Stupid. I’m going to be optimistic though. I don’t want to not enjoy the match and sit through a half hour of crap. I think it’s obvious that John Cena will overcome the odds and win the match. I’ve learned my lesson from picking against Cena despite my heart wanting it so. I’d like to see Ryback win, but I’ll play it safe and say John Cena wins.
Then they randomly added a Jericho vs. Punk match. It has a really strange and “thrown together” build up at the moment, but I’m sure the match will be good. I wonder if CM Punk will come back “different” and start a new direction. There has to be something to the idea of a Punk/Jericho match that’s going to go somewhere. Maybe the result of this is that they’ll team up or something. I have no idea what’s going on with this so I’ll reserve my judgment. It’s CM Punk’s hometown so I’ll go with Chris Jericho winning.
The Intercontinental Title is actually getting love. Wade Barrett has been an okay champion when he actually gets screen time. There has been a weird three way feud growing and brewing between Barrett, The Miz, and Fandango. It’s cool to see Fandango get to this level so quickly. I would like to see The Miz move up the card and feud with someone like Sheamus, Orton, Big Show, or even a Daniel Bryan or Kane. I’d like to see Fandango get the win here and have a run with the belt. It doesn’t feel “right” yet so it’ll probably happen. He could easily have a Honky Tonk Man style run with it, but I think Wade Barrett retains his belt.
I’m not excited for this show. I have a feeling that it’ll be a sleeper show. There will probably be some really cool and big moment to go down to make it notable. The promotion and build up going into it sucked. At this point, it would have to be amazing to get me to be enthusiastic about the WWE again.
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