BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
The 1980’s ruined the world. It’s sad, but true. I was fortunate enough to be born in 1983 and have the biggest chunk of my childhood being an “80’s kid”. The formation of my being was due the happenings of the 80’s. I love 90’s music and things from that decade too, but I think it was the 80’s fault that everything just started sucking.
Don’t worry, I have examples!
The health care is suckier. Back in the 80’s people were doing cocaine like it was best thing ever. These people got all doped up and never died. At the same time of getting everyone addicted, people started magically get AIDS. Isn’t THAT some shit? Not only did people in the 80s get to put drugs up their mullet having noses, but they didn’t have to worry at all about AIDS. Try doing this stuff now. Your heart will explode and you will get AIDS. Thanks 80s!
The entertainment aspect sucks now too. Back then the movies were just awesome. We didn’t get spoiled by endless content on the internet or by having 500 plus satellite channels. Back then if someone was on cable and you had cable you didn’t just see the same movie once or twice, you watched it dozens of times. These movies became embedded in your soul and part of who you would become. Now, it’s way too hard to be forced into latching onto something. We’re jaded and we’re unimpressed with everything. You can bet your ass that E.T. would not have been a big hit today. People just don’t have the patience to maintain having a heart and soul for the duration of a feature length movie. Thanks 80s!
Ronald Regan broke America into pieces. The rich got richer and the poor got poorer. The lines of poverty were really defined while he was in office. The idea of bettering yourself to achieve the American dream became a joke. The sad truth that people are born into their place in life and that it’s just as rare to win the lottery as it is to break through the glass ceiling created for you upon which loins you’re born from. I think this is why the movie “Trading Places” is such a great and pivotal 80’s movie. It defined the times more than many would give credit for. Now people are just miserable. The left over buzz from the hippies in the 60s and 70s finally wore off. Thanks 80s!
Everything just seemed to have halted. If we hadn’t had the technology boom we had in the late 90’s, the world would be a totally different place. I think we glamorize certain time frames in our mind because we want to think we were part of something special. In reality, the 1980’s was a lot like that evil alternative 1985 that Marty McFly went back to where Biff was in charge and with Marty’s mother. No hover boards, no clock tower to save… just Biff doing whatever the hell he wanted. That’s the real 80’s.
Screw you Biff Tanner! Screw you!
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