BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
I still don’t give a shit about the WWE. I don’t know why I’m even writing this. It’s basically just out of habit. This is the last pay per view of the year. Since Royal Rumble I’ve made it a point to predict whatever matches were announced at the time of writing this section. I’ll be interested to see how wrong I was about all my predictions over 2013. I genuinely have no clue. I’ll tally that shit up and throw it into my Royal Rumble preview come January.
This show is going to probably be WAY better than it should be. By that I mean that on paper this card looks outstanding. The match ups sound good and if given time they’ll deliver a great wrestling show. The problem is that you can’t really believe any of that. They’ve diluted any interesting storyline they’ve had to the point of nauseating boredom. I love the WWE. I always will. It’s just not hitting any marks right now. For all the great talent they have, no one is being given roles to really shine. It’s always cliché to say someone in wrestling was “buried” or they’re fighting against the “glass ceiling”, but it’s not any one individual these days. The ENIRE company is being buried and feels like they’re ALL stuck under some kind of glass ceiling. It’s almost as if they’re burnt out or holding back. One or the other.
For some stupid reason CM Punk is taking on The Shield AND Daniel Bryan is taking on The Wyatt Family… both in 3 on 1 Handicap matches. It’s pretty lame. Even if they pull a bait and switch, it’s a really lame selling point for the show. If these matches do happen I see them going two ways. I go with Punk wins over The Shield, thus causing some tension between the group. Daniel Bryan should win too, but I expect him to be screwed around more and their storyline to move forward. Ideally, Punk and Bryan would start an anti-establishment group to take down “the man”.
Then there’s AJ taking on Natalya in a Divas Title match. This could be a divas match actually worth watching. I think AJ’s run is running a little stale. Natalya gets the win.
I like the idea of Big E. Langston taking on Damien Sandow for the IC Title. It’s a nice fresh match between two guys who have tons of upswing. This could be one of those matches that people look back on as a stepping stone for both guys. Sandow had a nice push this year. He didn’t get tossed right into the main event, but his persona and value was clearly established. Langston is slowly growing into his own and with some ring presence and energy he could be HUGE. I like dig the fact they’re letting it happen organically instead of rushing it like they did with Ryback. I don’t care who wins. I just want it to continue with an interesting and engaging story. For the furthering of the story, I think I have to throw in the cheap win for Sandow. Yep, title change! Then the next night, Langston can take it RIGHT back.
They are supposedly unifying the titles with Cena and Orton going at it. In all honesty, I actually DO want to see this match. I think this would have been an epic WrestleMania 30 match though. It would be the two top people of an era going at it on the biggest stage. For better or for worse, these two have consistently been the faces of the company for the past decade or so. Both guys get bad wraps and are underappreciated in major aspects of things. Regardless, I have a hard time thinking ANYONE will win. I am half expecting this to end in shenanigans. Maybe they’ll BOTH win, but they’ll switch the belts. Like Orton pulls down the Big Gold and Cena pulls down the WWE at the “same time”… or something lame where NO ONE wins. Ideally, Triple H would come out and say the title is vacant and we’ll crown a new unified champion at Royal Rumble, where for the first time since the early 90’s, the championship is given to the winner. It would make Royal Rumble the biggest ever and they could do a lot with people trying to fight for spots to be involved. This won’t happen. Of course not.
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