BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
I went into this show with very little expectations. I expected the worst and hoped for the best. That’s how you have to designate your expectations when you’re a WWE fan. It’s never “always good” and it’s often “pretty bad”, but there is a certain level of interest at all time. For me, I’ve not been that engaged. I enjoy guys like Daniel Bryan, Dolph, and others on the roster but the storylines surrounding these people and the occasional good match is so bad and annoying that the entire product is one big turn off. The “Authority” is currently “in charge”. Are we supposed to want to see them finally “get theirs”? So what? What will that accomplish AT ALL? Who cares? The Big Show finally got his punch in on Triple H and no one gave a shit in the long run. In fact, it’s all but forgotten. Daniel Bryan spent months as the whipping boy in the storyline and he didn’t get closure nor ANY comeuppance. Daniel Bryan could put Stephanie McMahon in the “Yes lock” on top of a bloodied Triple H and it would be lame. Sure it would get a big pop in the moment, but in terms of storytelling and logical booking the blow off is too late and too little.
If a storyline is too different than the normal routine they’ll either drop it or cut if off at the knees before it can go anywhere fresh and innovative. Daniel Bryan was part of the “Wyatt Family” for like two weeks. This storyline could have been nurtured and carried on for a few more weeks. But no. This is the same company who hasn’t changed John Cena’s character in like ten years, who features Triple H and the McMahons over the performers, who constantly buries people like Vicki or Lillian for their own asshole-like amusement, and the same company who made having three hours of wrestling to watch every Monday more of a task-feeling punishment than an escape and fun time.
The Royal Rumble has been one of the best and most enjoyable events of the year. I realized two important words in the last sentence, “has been”. Can a pay per view become a “has been”? Is that even possible? Well, folks… ANYTHING is possible in the WWE! :-D
The opening match between Daniel Bryan and Bray Wyatt was the only match worth watching. The rest of the show was one constant disappointment. Before we get into that, let’s ramble about this match. Daniel Bryan and Bray Wyatt put on a great opening match. It could have been and should have been the main event of the show. The crowd wanted to see more, the crowd chanted “this is awesome” and cheered on the action of both men just because it was action worth cheering on. Bray Wyatt isn’t a “workrate” guy, but the dude can tell a story and provide an interesting and engaging match-up. He’s only 26 years old so people need to realize he’s only going to get BETTER, which is damn great place to start. He’s going to be a Randy Orton and eclipse his father’s legacy in no time. His talents in the ring, his mic skills, and his presence is clear he won’t be another Teddy DiBiase Jr. or a Curtis Axel. This is CLEAR. I plan to write a rant about the legacies of wrestling in the near future so we’ll save this ramble for then. I’m sure it’ll be rambled about by other people now that I brought it up. My musing just work that way. But yeah… Wyatt rules. The fact he’s in there with the hottest act in wrestling doesn’t hurt. This storyline was the best thing on their program lately. Of course they’ll run it short and take the ingredients of it and spread it to Cena, Orton, and/or Triple H. Nothing good can happen without “the stalemates” of wrestling getting involved. Daniel Bryan lost the match, which sucks. I’m okay with it because he’s really helping add fuel to the Wyatt run, a run that will surely be halted by “The Creative Cooler” named John Cena. Let’s just fast forward a month to John Cena cutting really serious promos where he “hoods-it-up” and adds extra base to his voice, says “dude” a lot like a rapper, and gets overly sentimental about a lot of nothing. Wyatt will get a few moments in on him but the inevitable result is John Cena standing victorious over the WWE’s latest naturally pushed star. The WWE doesn’t want YOU to decide the stars! That’s just not what’s “right” in the “biz”.
Brock beat the crap out of Big Show. It was what it was. It was tiresome and lame after like five chair shots. I don’t want ANYONE to get hurt, but I can’t buy a “chair shot beat down” when it’s all body shots and arm shots. I could see if it was to set up a big arm breaker move or something, but otherwise it’s crap. After what felt like an hour of stiff body shots, Big Show gets up and walks out…. Okay, thanks for the most violent bathroom break of all time! E-C-Dubya! E-C-Dubya!
The worst recepted WWE World Title match in recent memory happened too. The crowd summed it up for everyone. It was pure crap! I’m not a hater of either guys. John Cena has TONS of value and I think Randy Orton is one of the most underappreciated Main Eventers of this era. He’s not super flashy, but he’s consistent. If he’s wrestling a Punk or Bryan he can complement their styles very nicely. He has proven he can create holy shit moments. The problem is that when he’s wrestling someone who’s not a faster paced guy he seems even slower. Randy Orton vs. Dolph, Punk, Bryan, Kofi, Cody, and even Big E. are all “good” to “pretty awesome” matches. He CAN do it… but not against Cena. These two SHOULD have the best chemistry on the roster, but instead the crowd ate it up and spit it out. I’ve NEVER heard a crowd hate on both guys like that. If that’s not a red flag to the WWE’s creative department I don’t know what is. The two biggest stars of the “era” can’t put on a match without their PAYING FANS chanting about unwanted a match was. I’m glad Orton retained because I think he can put on more interesting matches against Brock, Batista, Punk, Bryan, and whoever else they decide to push for a month or two before creatively crippling them.
The Royal Rumble was craptacular for the most part. It was exciting to be in the moment of. I won’t be THAT jaded and say it wasn’t fun for a while. The awe and mystery is ALWAYS fun. Then when you get down the final six or so, you start to realize what’s going on. It was OBVIOUS that Batista was going to win this match. Painfully obvious. The whole deal about Reigns getting the most eliminations was REALLY contrived. I know everything is, but it was spoon fed and felt reaaaaaaally forced.
I dare the WWE to brag about how long CM Punk was in the Rumble. I’d like someone to take the time to rewatch the match and count how much of the match was actually spent on his feet. It just seemed like most of the match had Punk curled up in the corner taking naps in between really uninspired spots.
Kofi did his thing again. I’m happy he’s still getting his moments because a legit push seems to be something out of his reach. Make him heel and let him run wild.
The fans did NOT want to see Batista win. The rumors of Hogan, Sting, RVD, Morrison, Jericho, Undertaker, Evan Bourne, and about a million others made the match have that “I wonder WHO will show up” vibe. When no one showed up except Kevin Nash you can’t blame the crowd for having their expectations pissed all over. I’ve always appreciated Nash’s mic work and his outspoken nature, but he’s officially turning into a “grumpy old man”.
So yeah, Batista won. At the expense of all the company has been working on, all the potential they’ve created, and all of the fans demands. Reigns has been getting a respectful reception from the crowd and it’s obvious they plan on pushing him as a big star. The fans seem to dig him and he has tons of upswing. My problem is that you can already taste the bad taste they’re going to leave in our mouths. We’re going to sacrifice one of the coolest stables and best groups in the company’s recent history in exchange for the company-wide man-crush on big dudes. Let him grow and evolve naturally. I REALLY don’t want to see his push and singles career ruined by horrible decisions this early in his hopefully long career.
The WWE seems determined to tell the fans what they want despite the fans revolting. The crowd WANTS Daniel Bryan to be the top guy. I’m hopeful that at WrestleMania XXX the crowd gets the HUGE moment where Daniel Bryan is standing tall at the end of the show. The crowd has been teased and brow-beaten so long that the arena will explode with “Yes!” chants. It could be one of the best moments in wrestling history if pulled off right.
But why, in our right minds, would anyone expect this to happen? The WWE’s finger is so far away from the pulse of their audience that I’m pretty sure they’ll need the best proctologist in the world to get that finger back.
It’s wrestling. It’s not meant to be taken so seriously. You have to just disconnect a little. When the WWE drops some bullshit on us that they think will “draw big” instead of putting over the characters that the fans CLEARLY get behind you just have to disconnect. There is no point to get all worked up about it. There is no point to get online and type your fingers to a bloody pulp bitching about the WWE’s latest booking decisions. There is no point to get upset that your favorite wrestler is regulated to the midcard for no reason at all. There is just no point.
At the end of the day, our opinion does NOT matter to the WWE. This is obvious. In the past you just had to sit back and say “well, they ARE the WWE. This is THEIR business. Let’s just see how this turns out because THEY know what’ll be the best direction to go”. It was a balance. You’d give the WWE the benefit of the doubt on certain aspects of things because they’d drop big moments and awesome stuff on us occasionally. That’s become too sporadic. The WWE’s ratings don’t change all that much. If they do some special marketing or if The Rock or someone huge comes back, it’s always about the same. Randy Orton doesn’t “draw” any more than a CM Punk or a Daniel Bryan, but we’re lead to believe he’s the “real deal”. Our opinion does not matter. If anything “cool happens”, it’s purely on accident and coincidental.
Okay folks, it’s officially WrestleMania season. Let’s see how Triple H swindles Shawn Michaels’ hard-earned legacy to get him over this year! If Triple H can be involved with WrestleMania this year WITHOUT ANY HBK promos or involvement I will shave my head. He can’t, so my invisible hair will be safe.
Oh man… Wrestling IS dead.
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