BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
Years ago I coined the term, “flamingly hetro”. In fact it was brought to my attention that it’s a term I’ve been using for more than half of my life. It started as a defense mechanism in the late 90s. Back when teenagers and kids could bully each other in good spirits and thicker skins were earned. At least in the circles I ran in, there was no “hate” but hateful terms were thrown around. To say, “that gay!” or “don’t be a fag” would be to say “that’s lame!” or “don’t be a wuss”. It was never meant to be a direct attack at any homosexual.
In retrospect, there was no excuse. A “hateful term” is still “hate”. It was mainly based in ignorance. I don’t think any of us were trying to be dicks towards homosexuals. It was though. There is no apology for it. Knowing what I know now, it was just stupid and careless. All you can do is look back, cringe at the ignorance, correct yourself, and move forward as a better person.
This doesn’t discredit the term “flamingly hetro”. The word “flaming” is used to describe a certain group of homosexuals. I don’t even think it’s a bad term. I think it’s more of a way to say “flamboyant with confidence”. I could be totally wrong, but that’s just the perspective I’ve always taken with it.
With that, I’m “flamingly hetro”. I don’t have any issues saying this. I’m a hetrosexual man with an open mind and an open heart. I respect everyone’s lifestyle, choices and rights to be whoever they are or choose to be. I am hetrosexual, but there are things I enjoy, feel and appreciate that are a bit in the “flamboyant with confidence” area.
Here are a few signs you too may be “flamingly hetro”:
Glam Rock
Of course this is an easy one. There is nothing wrong with appreciating artists and performers who conceptualize their image or appreciates style. Is Prince not an amazing song writer or guitar player? Can anyone say with a straight face that David Bowie isn't one of the greatest men ever? Most people have a costume they wear but it's just more common and thus considered a "style".
Cry
Let it out, man. It's okay to let a tear or two drop if a movie or show tugs on the heart muscle a little. Of course the cliche is dudes cry at sports movies or "Old Yeller". But it can be anything that strikes a nerve. I'm not saying get mopey or go out and rent Steel Magnolias and shit. I'm just saying if you don't get a little misty eyed by the Futurama episode with Fry's dog then you're probably not human.
Artsy Stuff
Artsy perspectives are okay. It's perfectly fine to not be a visual person. Some people think factual, spiritual, mathematical, or not at all in some cases. Having an eye for details or artistic touch means nothing more than a dude is creative. It's a playful form of resourcefulness.
Less Objectifying
You don't outwardly objectify women. There is no constant need for a locker room mentality when it comes to noticing an attractive woman. Let's be honest, if an attractive woman is around we notice and file it in our brains. I assume this goes back to being hunters and gatherers. They say men think about sex 10 times an hour. This number is way off because the guy in charge of keeping track was distracted... by sex! So yeah... "chicks are hot". Duh.
Diverse Entertainment
My bad taste in television sees no gender. I have no issues with admitting to watching the first couple of seasons of “Project Runway”. It was a pretty creative show at the time and it was an interesting look inside that specific artistic industry. I didn’t go out and buy a sewing machine or anything, but it held my attention. I can watch sitcoms, hour dramas, tabloid news shows, documentaries and really anything I want. Just because I’d rather watch any episode of True Blood than any game hockey does not mean I’m less a bad ass.
There are plenty more little aspects of this developed character trait. The point here is that labeling is lame. There are many different traits that come together to make a person. In the same respect these traits don’t necessarily reflect the quality of the said person. You can plug in and switch any of the attributes you want but in the end assholes will always assholes.
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