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[MUSIC] THE SAVAGE ANIMAL
"10 Songs About Oral xes" |
01.12.11 |
BY MIKEY MIGO
The second puberty kicks in, the inevitable though… the inevitable goal… the inevitable prayer… is to get laid. Amongst the many many vile and disgusting thoughts a teenage boy may have, is oral xes. Even as we grow older, the disgusting teenage boy in all of us still wants to "get some". Like it or not, I'm going to just say it. Girls think about it too. They discuss it with their girlfriends. They judge a man's technique and prowlness. They think about it almost as much as we do.
Okay, so maybe not as much…
Still, oral xes is a great thing. If the world had more oral xes it would be a better place and wars would be a thing of the past. This is why I think our world leaders should be porn stars. If there is tension between two countries the leaders could just screw and get it over with. Taxes would definitely be down. Why would we need paved roads and extra police when everyone is at home getting dome? Exactly… and yes, I am a genius.
This is part of the reason why most rockstars become rockstars. They want "the chicks" that go along with the money and fame. Naturally, a rockstar would know their shit when it comes to head. This is apparent in the many many songs out there inspired by the lustful tongue.
Today we're going to take a look at ten songs about oral xes. Sure, this is a ridiculous topic, but aren't all great discussions rooted in obscurity and obscenity? Without further delay, I present to you… the most NSFW thing you'll read all day that isn't a video description…
"Slob My Knob" by Three Six Mafia
Wow. This song vulgar and indecent. Three Six has plenty more songs where this came from, but today we're going to stick with the cream of the crop. The song goes into detail about the dirty details. Of course we're going to have to include some old rap songs that may not be all that "pro-female". I'm sure over the course of this we'll hear the word "ho" and "bitch" more often than a "Gardening for Dogs" seminar.
"Be Aggressive" by Faith No More
Any chance I get to talk about Faith No More, I will take it and run. This song came out in 1992. The Marilyn Manson song that ripped off the "Be-Aggressive" chant with cheer leaders came out like ten years later. Listen to the "Angel Dust" album. It's like Manson literally sampled it for "MOBscene". We'll ignore that though. I like Manson and the fact that Faith No More is so beyond Manson that it doesn't even matter. This song discusses the idea of being more aggressive with oral stimulation. The song also rhymes "ejaculation" and "tribulation" proving that Mike Patton is a poetic genius.
"Suck" by Nine Inch Nails
Is this one really about oral xes or is the term "suck" used more as a metaphor pertaining to a leech? Yeah… I'm going with oral. This slutty song sounds like getting down after a night of hardcore debauchery. I wondered if it wasn't about xes for like ten seconds. It's just way too dirty not to be… at least on some level.
"Head" by Prince
From the 1980 album "Dirty Mind", Prince raised the xesual bar once again. If you've heard, seen, or felt the presence of the man known as Prince then you know what he was all about. I'm talking about pure and raw xesuality. Prince brings the sounds of lust to life with songs like "Head". The song is about an engaged woman being asked for oral xes from a man that she's not getting married to. It sounds pretty creepy if you think about it, especially the woman's tone when she's speaking about getting married. Never the less, the power of Prince makes xesual harassment xesy.
"Chelsea Hotel #2" by Leonard Cohen
Leonard Cohen is weird man. He is awesome, but he's weird. He sang "Chelsea Hotel" part one only in concert, but for part 2 he recorded it. The song doesn't paint oral xes as something so dirty and degrading. We find out it's about Janis Joplin and the relationship he had with her. It's a pretty somber song to be about getting oral, but it is what it is. Leonard Cohen is like that.
"Blowjob Betty" by Too Short
This has to be one of the most degrading songs of all time. It's hard to believe this came out in 1986. I hate myself for being a sucker for 80's hip hop because I can't help but nod along to the beat and enjoy the delivery. If this offends you then you've probably never heard of Too Short. The man is responsible for the setback of female rights by at least twenty years. Content aside, the man could flow.
"Lollipop" by Lil Wayne
Lil Wayne is garbage. He is a living parody. If the old Nickelodeon show, "All That!" had a parody where they mocked a rapper then that rapper would be Lil Wayne. I don't see the appeal, but I don't blame him for capitalizing on it. If I could get away with making millions sucking ass and sounding like a gay robot, I would. Sadly, when putting this list together Lil Wayne was one of the first people I thought about. Not because of this song, but mainly because the word "suck" was on my mind.
"Put It In Your Mouth" by Akinyele
I don't remember this cat at all. When doing some research on this grand topic, I came across one song that kept popping up. I'm talking about "Put It In Your Mouth". This song is pretty insane. It's like the gods cried and the tears dripped into an ink pen and thus this song was written. This song is vulgar as hell. It's one of the most vulgar songs I have heard this year. There is nothing held back here. As chavonistic as this song sounds, the end gives us a bit of insight from 1996…. "Pussy or Dick? People Through Out the World, It's Your Pick!" Profound!
"Brain" by N.E.R.D.
N.E.R.D.'s "In Search of" is one of the most underrated albums of the past decade. I recall being a huge fan when it first came out. The song "Rockstar" got me hooked and before I knew it I was in love with the album. In 2002, I lucked out and went with a friend to the Spite Liquidfest Tour and got to see N.E.R.D. open for the likes of 311 and Jay Z. One of the biggest stand outs of that show has to be N.E.R.D. This album gave us the two hit singles in "Rockstar" and "Lapdance", but the whole album is golden. One of my favorite tracks on the album has to be "Brain". I'm a huge fan of the song structure and how it sounds. A few months after falling in love with it, I come to find out it's about getting head. Yeah, the perks of suburbia.
"She Swallowed It" by N.W.A.
In 1991, NWA released their follow up to the classic "Straight Outta Compton" with "Niggaz4life". The album kinda pretty much flopped. It had two singles that went nowhere and the group pretty much fell apart after this. Never the less, the group managed to get another song about oral xes out before disbanding. The song "She Swallowed It" holds nothing back in terms of allusion. In many ways, this song is about doing ones part to keep the world a clean and tidy place. Basically, you should always clean up after a party.
What is YOUR favorite song about oral xes?
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