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[MUSIC] THE SAVAGE ANIMAL
"The All-Music Diet" |
03.30.11 |
BY MIKEY MIGO
I never thought I’d be categorizing bands by food group then again, who would? I can’t recall the root of this discussion, but sometime two weeks ago I was in a random discussion and started thinking about all the bands that are foods.
I’m not saying these bands are edible. That would be ridiculous. What I’m saying is that the band’s name has a food product in their name. Yes. This IS a completely inane and silly topic, but to me the obscure and random discussions like this are part of the fun of loving and overanalyzing music. To take it one step further, I’m going to group these “edible bands” into their respected food groups. In most cases the food reference are not meant to be literal, it’s some tongue-in-cheek irony or in reference to something not edible at all.
Whatever. I’m going to have some fun with this. Please feel free to join in on the fun..
CONDIMENTS
Salt 'n' Pepa: On their first single they were “Super Nature”, but after the success of hit single they changed it. It’s kind of their fault by calling themselves that in the verse of the song. Both salt and pepper could be placed in a food group if you wanted to get super technical about it. Salt is a mineral and pepper is a crushed vegetable I believe. My breakfast consisted of coffee so what do I know?
Spice Girls: There were a huge pop group for awhile, but none of the actual spices they named themselves after were edible except maybe Ginger spice. Other than that I don’t think anyone wants their chicken fillet seasoned in posh, sporty, scary, or baby spice. I’d hate to ask what’s in baby spice.
DESSERTS (FATS)
Vanilla Ice: His friends called him “Vanilla” because he was the only white guy in his group coming up.
Cake: Who doesn’t like cake? It’s so fantastic that it’s associated with people birthdays. You’re born in a bloody and mucusy mess and then bam! A year later you’re eating a pastry with wax and fire on top of it. THAT is the circle of life, my friends.
Green Jello: They started off being Green Jello, but Kraft Foods claimed copyright infringement and got that shit shut DOWN. So they changed their name to “Green Jelly”, but INSIST it’s still pronounced as “Jello”. That’s pretty krafty. Whether they’re jelly or jello, these guys know what’s up. It’s “lime jello” or “green apple jello”. It’s just a color. Foods CAN be colors. Just ask the orange.
MILKS
Cream: Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, and Jack Bruce were bad asses. Their reputations were big time and they were considered the “cream of the crop”. That’s as simple as they come.
String Cheese Incident: There is a few random folk lore stories out there about this, but the most common and rational reasoning is just progression and evolution. At first they were the Blue String Cheese Band, then String Cheese Conspiracy, and finally String Cheese Incident. I love string cheese, but I couldn’t tell you anything about this band.
FRUITS
Peaches: Merrill Beth Nisker is probably a nice quiet woman, but her alter ego “Peaches” is craaaazy! Anyone who has seen Peaches will tell you the same thing. Her shows are a big raunchy, but the experience is fun stuff. At first she was in a band called “Mermaid Café”, but as the shows got more sexual she took on the nickname of “Peaches”. She cites a line from the Nina Simore song “Four Women” as her influence on the name.
Fiona Apple: She was born Fiona Apple McAfee Maggart. She’ll get a pass with me for life because of her “Criminal” video and song. She has a great voice, but seems to have “outspoken” herself into a somewhat reclusive corner. I can only imagine the jokes though, “apple pie”, “apple dumpling”, etc.
The Cranberries: The band was originally called “Cranberries Saw Us”, but they later smartened up and shortened it.
Chuck Berry: Born Charles Edward Anderson Berry, this one wasn’t a band name. He REALLY is “Chuck Berry”.
GRAINS
Bread: So the band needed a name and in the midst of a brainstorming session a bread truck drove by. The rest is history. Bland? Yes. Cool? Kinda. I appreciate the “pop art” simplicity behind the name. I’m an even bigger fan of the idea that after some internal disputes part of the band got back together under the name of “Toast”. I hear they were “on a roll”. Ugh.
Limp Bizkit: Gross. The story of this one is that the name is based off a game where people masturbate in front of each other, everyone “finishes” on a biscuit, and the last one to finish has to eat it. This sounds like one of those things that were made up in a locker room. It’s disgusting, but what would you expect from such vile “music”?
VEGETABLES
Red Hot Chili Peppers: They were first known as “Tony Flow & the Miraculously Majestic Masters of Mayhem”, but they were quick to change. A RED HOT chili pepper does sound intimidating, but it’s not the hottest pepper out there. This is one of those situations where the band’s name is ridiculous, but their music is so good it makes the name good.
Smashing Pumpkins: I guess the name started off as a joke. Billy Corgan was quick to just get a name and of course it stuck. No wonder Billy is the only person left in the band.
Black Eye Peas: At first they were Atban Klann and then Black Eyed Pods, and then Black Eyed Peas, and then finally THE Black Eyed Peas. The evolution is amazing. It’s funny to think they’re that thing on the plate that you eat around and try to avoid at all cost. The jokes write themselves.
Korn: Like the Chili Peppers, this one only sounds cool because of the music attached to it. Well, that is IF you do actually like the band. Let’s pretend you do so I don’t have to think you’re a smug douche. The was tons of rumors why the name “Korn” came about. I heard one that involved a messy rim job, one about “Kern” county, and other randomness. In reality, they just went with something silly because they didn’t have anything else. The spelling and backwards “R” came just to make it look “cool”. I wonder how many “Korn on the Kob” jokes they’ve heard over the years…
MEATS
Meatloaf: Born Marvin Lee Aday, he formed his first band “Meat Loaf Soul” in the late 60’s. Kind of like Alice Cooper, his band name became synonymous with the singer. He also claims he was told by a friend that he “has the brains of a meatloaf”. It stuck. I’ve never been a fan of either the singer or the food.
Nashville Pussy: Yeah, that’s right.
Flying Burrito Brothers: When The Byrds broke up, Gram Parsons and Chirs Hillman put together this project. The band even put out an album “Burrito Deluxe”. There is even a chain of restaurants in New Zealand named about the band.
Phish: I never got into the Deadhead thing, but I understand and respect it. The main course of my “Phish knowledge” comes from their appearance on The Simpsons during the “Homer Smokes Weed” episode. Their name has often had different meanings, mostly random joke answers from band members over the years. Knowing their reputation and scene, I can imagine forgetting the origin would be pretty damn easy.
What are some foodie bands I missed?
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