[MUSIC] THE SAVAGE ANIMAL "Tales of a Modern Stoner"
04.18.12
BY MIKEY MIGO
For some reason, I decided to write this in a mini-novella format.
It just feels appropriate.
::::::::::[PROLOGUE
Marijuana.
It’s such an interesting and beautiful thing. To a lot of people it’s a taboo.
It’s something that only the lower culture participates in. It’s a dirty thing. It’s bad for you. It makes you dumb. It makes you lazy. It makes you eat. It’s a gateway to horrible drugs. It’s a waste of time. And dammit… it’s illegal!
Whatever. I respect one’s opinion and choice to participate in anything they desire. I know there are cases out there of people actually being affected negatively in result of marijuana. It happens and it sucks. The same can be said for alcohol, but only A LOT more. There is even a report out there that stoner drivers are NOT insurance risks. I don’t know how true that is, but it’s something most stoners will always cling to. “Drunk drivers kill more people than stoned ones!” I believe that’s true. Stoners are more passive and laid back. They’re slower and in many cases overly cautious as much as aloof to their surroundings. It affects people different. It could be used for many positive things. It’s not nearly addictive as cigarettes, it’s not nearly as damaging as booze, and it’s even sometimes more beneficial to someone than pharmaceutical medicine. I honestly feel it should be legal, but regulated in the same vein as cigarettes and alcohol. Responsible adults should have the right.
It’s also a ritual. There are still those with a calm demeanor and centered personality that still subscribe to the peace pipe mentality. It’s something to use to ease tension and find one’s center.
A big part of the stoner experience is music. I couldn’t imagine being as big of a fan of music without marijuana. Just the same, I couldn’t imagine being as big of a fan of marijuana without music.
In the next three “acts”, I’m going to take a look at three aspects of appreciating music from a stoner perspective. I’m going to cover personal home use, gatherings and hypothetical discussions, and finally the live concert experience. I will attempt to be as candid in these accounts and experiences as legally possible. For disclaimer and obvious reasons I’ll change names and details. If you’re uncomfortable with talking or reading about weed then stop and go check out something else. If you insist on reading and still find any issues, it’s “satire” and “not real”. (wink, wink) Like I said, I just wanted to vaguely cover my ass. Now onto Act I…
::::::::::[ACT I: HOME GROWN & PREPARATIONS
I know this stuff is going to sound silly and like blathering bullshit to those who don’t share in smoking, but those who do should be able to relate.
Smoking with headphones on is a ritual that every father should pass down to their son. There is just something almost spiritual about getting lost in the sounds coming into your ears. Smoking with good and loud headphones on is the closest experience I think someone can have to actually going to a concert. Even then, it’s just the music and you. It’s almost as if you leave your body and get swept up into the music.
But before you can even get to THAT point, you have to actually prepare the weed. You can go with a bong or bowl, but for others it’s got to be cleaned and rolled. During this process it’s always fun to listen to music as well to make the time pass. The tie in to music here also spreads into a more conventional use. Any stoner will tell you that a CD case is a fine “flat surface” to break up a bud on. Older folk will tell you the wonders of the album cover being used the same way.
Do bands think about that when making their album? I’m sure the more-stoner friendly bands probably do, but do you think Adele really sits back and thinks about all the stoners out there who are breaking up their kush on her 21 album? You can bet your ass that exact situation has occurred more than a few times. Everyone stoner has heard those taboo stories of people using pages of the bible to roll their weed. Do you honestly think Adele’s “21” album is safe?
::::::::::[ACT II: GATHERINGS & HYPOTHETICALS!
One stereotype of a stoner that seems to continue on in good faith are the long winded hypothetical conversations. A lot of good weed conversations start off with the words “If you could…” or “Do you think if…” or “Who’d win between…” and really open-ended obscure questions. It can be as dopey as soup preferences or battles between childhood cartoon characters. But a good portion of these conversations do in fact float into the world of music.
One of my favorite of the MANY random discussions was always putting together the “perfect concert”. It’s a fun conversation where a gather of stoners can ramble about music in a very aimlessly way. It’s basically saying “these are the four bands do I want to see play right now!”
In honor of that and 4/20, I’m going to share my own “Perfect Stoner Concert”.
[THE PERFECT STONER CONCERT] -Tenacious D
I could have gone with a few different bands here. There is plenty of living “stoner” worthy acts out there. I could have gone with a Kid Cudi, a Tom Petty, or even a Kottonmouth Kings. For balance, I wanted to go with something a little lighter hearted and humorous. This is a perfect choice under that description. Stoner’s like to laugh, right?
-Mike Patton
The voice behind iconic band “Faith No More” has spread his talents out better than most artists. He does it all. He has a range that is unmatchable and a mind for sound that is pretty much genius. If it’s hip hop, it’s some of the swankiest beats and melody. If it’s metal, it’s hard as hell. If it’s opera, it’s as passionate and explosive as the greats. Then there are the dozens and dozens of genres and subgenres that he dwells in. Basically, I’m trying to say “whooaaa….”
-Queens of the Stone Age
I’ve seen Queens of the Stone Age more times than I often give myself credit for. I think that’s the point though. The experience of a Queens of the Stone Age concert is just that, an experience. One big and blurry experience. I want to see them again. I swear the next time I’d try to remember specifics of the show other than pure enjoyment.
-Snoop Dogg
Snoop Dogg is just a positive presence. He’s not all smiles or anything, but you can’t see Snoop perform and not feel good vibes. Even the most novices of hip hop listeners will know the choruses to a Snoop song. Snoop has gone from gangsta rapper to hip hop figure head. He has been pretty damn consistent with the hits. Once you see him you are amazed by the fact that he can go two hours on a stage and perform greatest hit after greatest hit without missing a beat. Snoop doesn’t nearly get the credit he deserves. On top of that, who else are you going to want at a “perfect stoner concert” than Snoop?
Remember, there are no wrong answers to this stuff. It’s just a conversational topic. Feel free to share YOUR “Perfect Stoner Concert”…
::::::::::[ACT III: THE GREAT CONCERT QUANDRY
Smoking weed at a concert is a touchy topic. It’s illegal and most places don’t even allow cigarette smoking at shows anymore. Of course security and the law aren’t going to always turn a blind eye to the ganja. Some will, but to be fair it’s their job to maintain the peace. If your weed smoking is interfering with that then you’ll be stopped or in most cases escorted out, sometimes with excessive former-jock aggression. You’ll be checked for it, so it needs to be hidden on one’s person. That’s always risky too. Who really wants to smoke “crotch weed”?
While I don’t agree with forcing unsolicited smoke to be around folks who don’t want it, I love the idea of being able to take a toke or thirty in the midst of a concert environment. I’ve been on both sides of the fence in this. During the times I didn’t smoke it seemed like a nuisance, but the times I did it was a great time. To be honest, I think I called the non-smoking times a “nuisance” because I just really wanted to smoke.
I’ve been to a show called “Hemp and Peace Fest” in Chicago and didn’t partake. That sucked. But I have indulged at quite a few concerts to various result and levels of awesomeness. Not including the times I smoked before or after a show, the actual event of looking around “nonchalantly”, taking a quick and “casual” hit, and then “inauspiciously” passing it to the person next to you. Then how the hell do you explain the puffs of smoking coming from around you? When cigarettes were a little more acceptable you could light one and just pretend its cigarette smoke. Now, it’s harder and an assload more obvious. Because of this and the fact that I’m older and “more responsible”, I’m not sure I’d try to smoke at a concert again. Then again, it doesn’t sound like the worst idea in the world…
Here are a few smoking at show experiences that stand out to me. I’m not confirming nor denying these events actually happened… (wink, wink)
They’re not even a “weed band”. This was the first concert I think I smoked at. It was at a small venue and smoking was a dumb idea. It was obvious where the smoking came from and the security was on my small group of smokers fairly quick. The roach was tosses down and stepped on as security harassed the louder and more boisterous of the people that were smoking. They ended up getting kicked out, but myself and the two people I was with were apparently less threatening and better actors. We got out of it, partially in thanks to my ironic hat choice of a “Dare To Keep Drugs Off The Streets” logo, and then enjoyed the show at a different spot of the general admission venue. I had just started smoking a few months before this and had never heard of MSI before. All I remember is sitting in awe and having my mind blown by the energy and music on the stage that night. I had a great concert in front of me and my first “weed at a show” experience all in one swoop.
-Queens of the Stone Age (circa 2004)
I was at an outside show for this one. It was a local radio show and at an unconventional venue. There was smoking going on all over. I was there with a fellow stoner at the time and we stood side by side in the big crowd of people. The folks next to me pulled out a blunt and none of them had a lighter. At the time I was still smoking cigarettes and always had my Zippo on me. Needless to say, I made quick friends with these guys. They just kept pulling more and more out. They used a lot of my lighter fluid that night, but to say it was a fair trade off would be unjust. Great times.
-Ozzfest (summer 2005)
I wouldn’t have gone to Ozzfest that year at all until I was given a VIP pass. This gave me early entry, a special bar to hang out in, easy parking, and the ability to wander all over without any hassle. This show was cool for many reasons. I got so stoned in the lawn area that I ended up staring at burlesque dancers all afternoon and missed out on Rob Zombie and the second stage completely.
- Tech N9ne (circa 2007)
The more I think about it, the more I think this was the last time I smoked at a concert. If it’s the last time, I think I went out in style. I was there “on assignment”. I wanted to see Tech N9ne, but was there to cover other bands on the bill. A friend that went got in with a blunt or two of some really quality stuff. The night went on and after the show our “VIP” access got us backstage. It was one of the first times I can remember being backstage at a concert that I wasn’t personally tight with a band on the bill. We got a great interview with a hip hop act and then my ballsy friend asks the group if they’d want to smoke. They did. We followed them down a hallway and found their dressing room was in use. Before I know it, we found ourselves crammed into a small bathroom “hot boxing” it with this really “UnderRated” hip hop act. It was one of those “music and weed” moments that I’ll never forget.
So, uh… Yeah. Feel free to share any interesting smoking at a concert stories YOU may have… All “fictional stories” of course….
::::::::::[EPILOGUE
I know I’m not alone in these experiences. Nothing I just rambled about is unique or exclusive to my own background or time. There are most likely another million little things about the relationship music and weed have together. One thing can bet your ass that stoners take seriously is their weed and their music.
If you take anything from these sections, I hope you take the main point… listen to Queens of the Stone Age. Also, math skills and ability to work heavy machinery might not be wise attributes to display on weed, but music appreciation is A-Okay. At least I hope….
BLOGS
- DLP News - The Savage Animal - Random Movie Review - rant/n/rave - PreView:ReView - Worst Case
Scenario
