BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
It’s that time of the year again. It’s that time were if you’re a music fan you’re forced to feel like you’re being left out on the fun if you don’t do to the big concerts. The summer is an awesome time for going to concerts though. I have some great memories stored up in the ol’ noggin from my past summers of concert goodness. I’ve been to hot and sweaty shows in dive bars, big venue summer shows, club shows, and of course a few festivals.
The concept of a “concert festival” is nothing new. The first thing people think about is “Woodstock”, but even that was a copy of another’s idea. It was a three day festival that has become part of American history. It’s as important for the history of rock music as just about any single non-tragic incident. This myth would grow and grow. Since I was a kid I’ve known that Woodstock was awesome. As I’ve grown up I’d watch the documentaries, love to hear the stories, and really get into that era of music. How can you not want to experience that?
Promoters know that. Some do it because they want to capture their own magic and make their own myth, but it seems more and more are just trying to capitalize on taking dumb consumer’s money in the guise of a “musical life experience”.
It’s just not the same. People are jaded. It’s become merely a scene to be seen in. The tabloid media hangs out in case a random celebrity is spotted smoking a joint during Vampire Weekend’s set. There is Coachella and Bonaroo, but the one that I want to talk about today is Lollapalooza.
The idea of Lollapalooza is great. Back in the early 90’s, this traveling festival seemed inspired. They’d take cutting edge rock acts and put them on stage with the most bad ass of rappers. It was part of the whole “grunge” era of things where it all seemed to have some sort of substance. Granted the substance was a little mopey, it was at least substance. But it’s 2013. Substance has become something only measured by how many people retweet it or how many likes it gets on social media.
You have to ask yourself if going to Lollapalooza is even worth it anymore. Well, you don’t “have to”, but I would hope you’d at least consider it. This gets posted in time to give you over a week to look at those over priced tickets and really think about the value of those pieces of cheaply produced cardboard.
Before you decide, please consider the following…
1.) Overpriced Mystery Tickets.
Lollapalooza wants you to pay for something invisible. A good time before they actually announce ANY bands they expect YOU, the dumb consumer, to fork over cash for tickets. And dammit, if you don’t get those tickets AS SOON AS POSSIBLE you are forced to pay more and more until they’re gone. So, it starts off with like five people not getting ripped off. Granted they don’t know who the fuck they’re paying to see, Lollapalooza offers a $75 to get a presale “Souvenir Ticket” that serves as a magical three day pass. There are never many of these. At this point, it’s more of a myth than a deal. Then they jump to $200 for an “Early Bird” three day pass. So tickets jump from $75 to $200 in a matter of hours. Still, no bands are announced at this point. The price then jumps to $235 for a “normal” three day pass. Those sell out quick too. Then they have single day passes for those who are total posers and not cool at all. These bitches are $95. So do the math…. How is that worth it? It’s a festival so they’ll announce 90 bands and do the whole “You’re getting 90 bands you didn’t plan on seeing for $295 so it works out to just under $3 a band!” That’s bullshit math. Can we go around and request the $3 back from each band? And what about the billion stages? You’re not going to see all 90 bands. Not even if you wanted. The whole ticket sale concept here is ridiculously shady and no one says shit. It would be like going to a restaurant and being asked to pay for a plate you can’t eat for four months. Then you have to wait around to find out WHAT the food you’re going to get and if it’s not to your liking or even if you’re allergic you’re just screwed.
2.) Travel Hell.
All of those people have to get to the center of Chicago. Think about that. They say like a quarter million people go to this thing. Finding parking in Chicago during the weekdays in April can be a bitch. Imagine adding a trillion more people? The public transportation situation is an option, but it’s hard to imagine these trains and buses won’t be crammed full of people. Coming from outside the city just sounds dreadful. Then we have to take into consideration that there is no lodging or camping. So when each night is over, people have to leave. Then the next day they have to pay for more transportation and deal with the same chaos again… and then since it’s a three day festival, you come back and do it all over again on Sunday. So unless you can afford a close by hotel, you’re basically spending three days traveling with a few hours of standing around waiting for bands you sorta want to see all day. I’d probably consider hiding in a bush or something.
3.) Lack Of Variety.
Let’s be real here. Lollapalooza is basically becoming a live action version of “NOW THIS IS HIPSTER MUSIC!”. Nothing is special about this show anymore. They can promote it any way possible, but it is what it is. Lollapalooza has become a brand and product. It’s not a movement. It’s not an alternative. It’s not rebellious or threatening at all. On paper, they make it sound like it’s Woodstock reinvented. “115 ACRES OF NON-STOP ACTION OVER 3 MAGICAL DAYS” is one of the first things you’ll see on their site. They also push the fact that “Lollapalooza is more than just a sensory overload of 130 of the most notable and buzzworthy bands from across the globe.” That’s cool and all. 130 bands is a 130 band. But I really wish they’d stop acting as if they’re digging deep to figure out who the book. These festivals are all the same anymore. Is there really that much difference between Coachella or Bonaroo anymore? These festivals seem to all follow the same formula when booking. They all wrangle up whatever’s popular within the “indie”, “hipster”, “college”, or “underground” levels. Then they snatch up the solid mid line-up people who are out there pushing an album at the moment. The headliners are the tricky part. In most cases they overlap a bit. These shows having the same headliners isn’t too surprising. They’ll all add in their own quirks. Geography seems to have something to do with whatever “old school” or even general hip hop artist gets booked. The festivals also seem to try to get a “reunion band” or two on the line up if possible. Then there is the “what the hell?” headliner that never makes sense. It’s just the same, same, same. I like the Alabama Shakes as much as anyone, but I’m pretty sure they’re playing every festival ever this summer. I think Ozzfest is coming back JUST so Alabama Shakes can headline the second stage. To prove this point, I’ll ask the question that’ll sum it all up. How long before Lollapalooza busts out a hologram? You know it’s coming. It’s what aaaaaaall the cool festivals are doing.
4.) Screws Chicago’s Concert Scene.
One aspect that is often not brought up is how much it screws Chicago’s concert scene for the months before and after the festival. There is typically clauses in contracts where a band will play the show but agree to not come back to the area within a certain amount of miles for a certain amount of time. I don’t know this for fact, but there has to be something to it. This dries up the Chicago concert scene for the summer because no one on Lolla comes back for a long time. Unless you’re on one of the billion “afterparty” shows, you’re screwed. The first night of the festival is the day after my 30th Birthday. Would I love to see NIN, my favorite band of all time, to celebrate? Of course I want to see Nine Inch Nails, but because I’m not forking over a few hundred bucks to make it happen I’m not going to get to see NIN at all. The tour that comes after goes come to Chicago, Wisconsin, OR Indiana. This is not the first time this has happened.
5.) Better Options.
If you’re out of town, you should just stay that way. Lollapalooza is not worth it. There are PLENTY of festivals out there and they seem to be better these days. If you’re out of the Midwest area then you’re on your own. Put your head outside your window and look around. There is stuff going on all over, mainly with the same line-ups. But if you are close enough to Lollapalooza to consider it, consider the options. You can head up to Milwaukee for Summerfest. They have like a week of multiple stage acts and a REAL variety. You won’t see as many bands, but it’s more of a quality over quantity case here. But if you’re in Chicago or close enough, have you not heard of Riot Fest? This festival is building steam and the lineup this year is just as a bad ass as the Lolla line-up. Granted, I DO like Lolla’s headliners better than the “tattle rock” of Blink but the variety and “vibe” of the festival feels more about the music than about a “scene”.
6.) Scheduling Nightmares.
I’ve heard this complaint from MANY people. The problem with having a festival with multiple stages like this is that you WILL miss some great stuff. A lot of past attendees would go for a few specific bands. What happens when Lollapalooza’s bookers schedule all of your favorite bands at the same time? You are forced to pick and choose on top of fighting your way through the crowds just to be able to have a visual of one of the band’s you’re there to see. It seems like the less bands you want to see the more likely the bands you DO want to see are going to play at the same time.
7.) Sell Your Tickets For Profit!
A few years back I was “lucky” enough to get a “Souvenir” ticket for $45 (notice the mark-up?). I could have went to all three days of the festival and “enjoyed myself”. Of course I had to buy it before I knew the lineup. August came around and I found myself at a small club in the burbs having a great time watching Chicago metal. I got comped to THAT show and I sold my $45 pass on e-bay for profit. I genuinely didn’t want to go and didn’t think I could. I also sold the ticket for LESS than what the buyer what have paid normally. So everyone wins! I’m not saying scalp tickets, but I’m saying if you DO have tickets for Lollapalooza consider the investment.
8.) Just Go The After Parties.
The festival has spilled out of the invisible walls of Grant Park over the past few years. More and more “after parties” are popping up. Basically, a band that’s not that high on the line up goes to a smaller venue and plays an “after hours” show for local fans. It’s not a bad idea, really. It gives smaller bands a chance to bring their fans to a smaller more intimate spot. This year it seems like everyone that’s not a headliner is doing their own “after party” at a random venue in the city. So basically, if you want to go to Lollapalooza to see someone that’s not a headliner check out if they have another show that weekend. There is a good chance you can avoid the bullshit all together and still get to rock out. And these shows are cheaper, MUCH cheaper.
So, Lollapalooza…. Still worth it?
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