[MUSIC] THE SAVAGE ANIMAL "R/P/S #1: Asshole Front Men"
08.14.13
BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
With power comes responsibility. The front man of a band has the power of leading the band and the responsibility of not only vocals but conducting the crowd to their best ability. A great front man will be able to sing their ass off, rock out, and make you feel a part of the experience.
There is a dark side to the responsibilities of a front man as well. Sometimes the lifestyle, pressure, or whatever turns the rocker into an asshole. It doesn’t automatically make them a “bad person” or anything, but who would we be kidding if we didn’t all admit that the bigger the front man the bigger the asshole. It doesn’t mean we have to turn them off.
That’s part of it the “downfall” of the gig of a Rockstar or celebrity. You’re always under scrutiny. Your life is out there for everyone to see. The questionable thing’s a normal person does in private and never tells their closest friends about is a casual headline for these people on TMZ. Then if you’re the lyricist your words and experiences are under the microscope for interpretation. I imagine at a certain level, you’d either have people trying to understand you or relate to you. Either way, you’d always be a forming opinion.
The thing we don’t talk about is that if you make great music then all is forgiven. It’s just the way it is. Tons of folks love John Lennon, but it’s also said he was kind of an asshole. Hating on Bono and U2 has become a popular thing to do, but they still fill football stadiums and make impactful music. Fred Durst was an asshole and for a while people dug his music. Then the balance of asshole and music appreciation shifted and it was a downward spiral from there. Keeping that balance is key to a healthy career.
Today I’m going to put that to the test by using my own patented “Rock, Paper, Scissors” grading system! Translation: “this rocks!”, “it looks good on paper!”, and “it makes me want to stab my ear holes with scissors!” I’m going to take a look at a few of the more notorious asshole front men and give my personal take on if they’re “Rock”, “Paper”, or “Scissors”…
Jim Morrison
Life: 1956-1973
Band(s): The Doors
Vs.: Florida Cops, TV Censors, etc.
For some reason it’s cool to hate on Jim Morrison these days. The Doors was often considered one the greatest bands of all time, but out of nowhere a bunch of hipsters got together to decide to go after them. Apparently a lot of plaid wearing kids had alky dads and are taking it out on the ol’ Lizard King instead of taking a look in the mirror. There’s no other reason to hate on this guy. It’s said he was a cool guy when sober, but when drunk he’d get outlandish, vulgar, and out of control. He got in legal trouble for exposure and pushed the envelope on many occasions. Regardless, he was marching to a beat of his own drummer. His lyrics are metaphorical masterpieces. You can nit-pick on some of the simplistic lines all day, but it’s the emotive energy behind those words that gave them meaning. It’s hard to call a dude “pretentious”, when he’s putting spins out there like “I eat more chicken than any man ever seen”. Those are not the words of a douche bag. Those are words of a man who had stories. 1…2…3: ROCK
Morrissey
Life: 1959-
Band(s): The Smiths, Morrissey
Vs.: Whatever he feels like ranting about.
“The Pope of Mope” is a cool nickname, but Morrissey is doesn’t only mope. He’ll also gripe! He’s always been someone that people say is “hard to get along with” to make it nice. He’s such a sarcastic lyricist and opinionated guy that it’s probably enthralling and annoying to hang out with him. In interviews he says A LOT of crazy things. He backs up his opinions in a well-spoken manner, but he goes off the deep end with ease. He’s constantly dropping “controversial” nuggets in interviews and every few months or so he pops back up with a fun little “Look what that silly goose said this time!” kind of way. I like his music, but I don’t think it merits the aggression. 1…2…3: PAPER
Courtney Love
Life: Darkness Has No Age!
Band(s): Hole
Vs.: Herself, The World
Courtney Love has had a pretty public career. We all know her personal history. Her love life, her drug problems, big train wreck moments, her impressive acting performances, and her decent times. There is tons of hate for her out there. People hate on her because her husband is gone, they hate her because she’s ill with addiction, they hate her because she’s outspoken and has train wreck moments. Her music IS aggressive and she’s made an ass of herself many times. There have been times she’s been flat out crazy. It’s not even that I don’t like Hole. They’ve had some decent songs and I’ve enjoyed their music from time to time. I just don’t think it was THAT GOOD for her to have any justification to be that outlandish. The balance of art quality versus person quality is way off on this one. 1…2…3: SCISSORS
Axl Rose
Life: 1962-
Band(s): Guns N’ Roses, “Guns N’ Roses”
Vs.: Guns N’ Roses, The World
I value those albums too much to say “scissors”. At that point in time, GNR was so big that he probably had no choice but to go crazy in a way to deal with it. Axl Rose was on top of the world for a while. When hair metal was on its way out, Guns N’ Roses was that bridge between hair and grunge. Guns N’ Roses was a GREAT band that halted entirely too soon. The reason? They could not get along! Millions, maybe even BILLIONS of dollars was basically burnt as millions of fans weep at the foot of the remains. Guns N’ Roses had potential to be one of those “all-time great” bands. I think they should be in the discussion, but they could have set some records and set some pretty high plateaus. I’m thinking AT LEAST on a U2 level. But No. That says A LOT. By all accounts Slash and the rest of the original band are all cool guys and Axl is the crazy misunderstood artist with attitude and control problems. Axl has jumped into mosh pits to attack paparazzi members, he has gotten into fights, he spent a decade working on one album, and he is often in the headlines for randomness. I’d love for there to be a reassurance of Axl in the form a reunion tour and maybe even a new album. I don’t anyone would complain about him coming on stage two hours late too much if he was joined by Slash, Izzy, Matt, etc. 1…2…3: PAPER
David Lee Roth
Life: 1953-
Band(s): Van Halen
Vs.: Van Halen
I dare anyone to say anything bad about “Diamond Dave”. When I think of the band Van Halen, I refuse to not think about DLR at the front. He’s not even a Van Halen, but for me he’s always going to be THAT band. Those old songs, videos, and antics were so much fun to grow up on. I’m always going to remember his award show line that I think was “it’s not if you win or lose, but how look while playing the game”. That kind of fun attitude sets a great example. I never got the hate for him. He’s always been a little loud and out there, but I think that’s the charm that pays the bills. I have a hard time blaming this guy for Van Halen becoming the boring band it became. He would go on to become a paramedic because he wanted to. I recently heard that he went to Japan because he wanted to learn how to sword fight. So for the past year he has been living there and training. Who does that!? David Lee Roth, that’s who! 1…2…3: ROCK
Liam Gallagher
Life: 1972-
Band(s): Oasis, etc.
Vs.: His Brother, Jay Z, The World
John Lennon much? I never liked Oasis. They have two or three singles that were really good, but I never thought they deserved any of the hype or acclaim they got. Hell, one UK poll claims that this guy is the “greatest frontman of all time”. Wow! That’s a bit of an overstatement. I respect the man’s art and his fan base is obviously a dedicated bunch. He’s just a jerk. He was constantly being a dick towards his brother and band mates. He would throw random bullshit quips out there about things he didn’t know about. A few years ago, there was some bullshit about him being a whiney child about Jay Z headlining a music festival. It’s just a constant flow of bullshit from this guy’s mouth and not nearly enough “Champaign Supernova”. 1…2…3: SCISSORS
Scott Weiland
Life: 1967-
Band(s): Stone Temple Pilots, Velvet Revolver
Vs.: Himself, Bandmates
Scott Weiland is such a great vocalist and musician. I’ve always been a big fan of Stone Temple Pilots and then when he went on with Velvet Revolver I was into that too. He’s got a great voice and his stage presence is a natural draw. His history with drugs has been a long and bad one with rehab and some serious scares. He could have very easily gone off the deep end many times. He’s an addict and I’m sure works at it every day he can. I don’t know if it’s a direct effect of the drugs, but I doubt it because it happens when he’s reportedly clean as well. His band mates just can’t get along with him. He always puts it out there as if he’s not in the wrong and they’re the ones being mean to him. At first you want to believe him because he’s a charismatic guy, but then you have to think about it for a few minutes. Why does this KEEP happening? Are Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver all irrational about their expectations of this guy? I find that hard to believe. As cool as he seems on stage, there has to be some issues. Sucky. 1…2…3: PAPER
Bono
Life: 1960-
Band(s): U2
Vs.: Cynical Folk, Poverty, Sunlight
Here’s where I lose everyone. Bono is hated. He’s a bit outspoken and pretentious. He’s obnoxious about his philanthropy to the point where people are annoyed by him. He’s really pushy about it and he’s so over the top with it that it almost comes off like he’s mocking you. I don’t think that’s REALLY the case. The guy has great intentions and wants to make the world a better place. I think his ego is part of the artillery he has to use to accomplish those things. At the end of the day, I KNOW it sounds cliché, but I’m sure he cares more about an African child being fed than some fat nerd thinking he’s over reaching his charities. On top of that, he’s one of the best front men ever. He’s got an electric energy to him that really compliments the music of the band he’s been with for a million years now. U2 consistently makes relevant and important music. Until that stops, I don’t care how many times he asks for donations. 1…2…3: ROCK
I really wanted to see this movie. The poster and trailer made me assume that Steve Carell and Jim Carrey were costars and that the awesome Steve Buscemi would be there for support. The movie isn’t exactly like that. It centers around Carell and Buscemi, two long-time friends and Vegas magicians. Their act is getting old and they break up in the midst of trying to compete with the “flashy” magician on the scene that’s a parody of something between David Blaine and Cris Angel. This guy is played by Jim Carrey. I’ve always been a big fan of Jim Carrey. I like his old silly stuff, his drama work, and his general camera presence. He is probably the most underrated A-list actor out there. Of course that sounds like an oxymoron, but by that I mean he IS successful but I think his actual chops are slept on. It just felt like Jim Carrey and Steve Carell were in two separate movies. The tone of the movie was really odd. The general narrative wants the viewer to cheer on Carell, care about Buscemi, and dislike Jim Carrey. Instead I found myself being annoyed by Steve Carell, wondering when Steve Buscemi would get something cool to do, and enjoying Jim Carrey chew up scenery. Carrey’s side of the movie was almost like a dark comedy and then Carell’s side almost felt like a clean cut PG comedy. Then the tone of the movie overall was just a rollercoaster. By the middle of the movie I just stopped caring. You watch movies like this to distract you and to laugh. Sadly, I needed a distraction from the movie and didn’t laugh much at all. It was just a really awkward movie. I love the director, Don Scardino. I love the cast and the idea of mocking magicians is great. This movie just didn’t work. Maybe I’ll watch it again in the future and my opinion will change, but after a first impression I was left in a sleepy daze. Judge for yourself and tell me why I’m wrong. Like I said, I did want to like this. C
“Worst Case Scenario” is a new take on the concept of “fantasy booking”. For years professional wrestling fans would spend endless hours of thinking up the coolest things that could happen. Why waste the energy? This only leads to high expectations. “Worst Case Scenario” flips that. Instead of looking through rose colored glasses, let’s take a bi-weekly look at the worst possible scenarios in professional wrestling. I’m not going to be malicious or anything too mean, but I will not refrain from letting my brain come up with the worst possible shit I can. Sadly, it seems the writers and producers of mainstream TV wrestling and the mainstream iPPV level indies are doing the same thing but charging us for it. And now…
