BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
This one is weird, but it has to be done. For the past few months I’ve been trying to figure out a way to approach this topic. I think this is the best way.
So everyone has a “tick” right? Some people crack their knuckles, shake their leg, tap their fingers, hum random melodies to themselves, and just in general do weird things. When you’re around someone a lot, you notice these things. It’s the little idiosyncrasies that make a person, the person they are. Sometimes we take them with stride and others it’s the nails on a chalk board that makes us hate each other.
Regardless, we all do it. Even rockstars and famous music artists.
I was going to make a “top 10” or something to rank them, but that bored me to sleep. I’m going to dust off my old “Rock Paper Scissors” rating system. We’ll talk about a few of the random mannerisms in music, but I’ll also be rating them based on if they “rock”, if it sounds cooler than it is…. Or “sounds good on paper”, and of course if it sucks it makes me want to stab my ears (and/or eyes) with “scissors”.
It’s as simple as that. Rock. Paper. Scissors.
Let’s take a look at the mannerisms of music!
Mannerism #1: “The Axl Rose Sway”
The Axl Rose sideways hip sway is classic. Anyone who was a fan of rock music in the early 90’s known exactly what I’m talking about. It’s one part slither, one part sway, and all ridiculous. It’s crazy how known and popular this mannerism was/is but yet it’s not talked about or referenced much anymore. As visually strange as it is, it’s not something people seem to care about today. As much as I enjoy mocking this movement, it’s sadly more of a parody target than a cool idiosyncrasy.
1…2…3: PAPER
Mannerism #2: “Joe Cocker’s Shake”
This one is more medical and sad than anything. Cocker has a twitch. If you’ve ever lived through being around someone screwed up on pills, coke, and alcohol you already know how this works. It’s just a lot of spastic twitches, contortions, and jerks. The crazy thing is that it works. It’s Joe Cocker. Take it or leave it. I think we should all just take it. He’s awesome. I didn’t even really take in the extent of this stuff until I retroactively watched Belushi’s AMAZING cover and impression of Cocker on an old SNL episode from the glory days. When I think about Cocker the first things to come to mind are: 1.) Belushi’s rendition. 2.) “The Wonder Years” and THEN 3.) His uncontrolled jerky movements.
1…2…3: ROCK
Mannerism #3: “The Diddy Dance”
True story. I once had the pleasure of drinking wine in a VIP suite at an old Ozzfest. I spent the entire duration of Iron Maiden drinking said wine and dancing like Diddy. Sean Combs is known for a lot of things. He’s a rapper, a producer, a business man, and just an overall productive entity. You can hate on his work all you want, but can’t deny the work that goes into his stuff. When he’s not working hard to take over the world, he dances! It’s like an end zone dance done on a small trampoline. It’s a weird little bounce around dance. It’s something Bill Cosby would do while smoking a cigar. It’s a silly as shit dance, but it’s hard to see it and not be amused by it.
1…2…3: ROCK
Mannerism #4: “Eddie Veddar’s shake/twitch”
Eddie Veddar is a living legend. He's just one of those people. He is a great vocalist for one of the most consistent rock bands ever. Pearl Jam will never be the biggest band ever and I doubt they'll be releasing any clothing lines or alcohol brands. They will go down as one of the most respected. You don't even have to be a super fan or anything, I'm certainly not, but you'd be dumb to argue the mark they have made. They deliver great concerts, they stick with their fans, and they embody everything good about rock. They truly are a modern throwback. Like most classic figureheads, Veddar has his own style. One of the quirks that stood out is his weird shake thing. It’s like a crazy little convulsion that rattles his vocals. I always thought it was cool.
1…2…3: ROCK
Mannerism #5: “Manson: The Mannequin”
Marilyn Manson is a shock rocker so image is important to him and his act as any other performer out there. For years he has captivated our minds with antics as a disguise to deliver his message of discontent and disenfranchisement. Basically it’s safe to say he's a man of many quirky mannerisms. The one that always stood out to me was his mannequin pose. It’s pretty much exactly how it sounds. Marilyn strikes a wide shoulder pose where he cocks his creepy neck and takes on a face only a blind mother could love.
1…2…3: PAPER
Mannerism #6: “Elvis Presley’s Lip Curl”
Elvis Presley is one of the most famous, influential, and successful pop culture figures of all time. He had a million hits, movies, and tons of stories. He has his haters, lovers, and indifferent observers but his impact in undeniable. He was a showman for sure. He had a charisma that could not be bottled or duplicated. Ironically enough, he has to be one of the most imitated people of all time. There are so many Elvis impersonators that there have been movies about it. Not movies about Elvis, the man… but MULTIPLE movies involving people dressing up as and being Elvis.
One of the main ingredients of an Elvis impersonation is the lip curl. He raises one side of his lips in a cocky snarl. It was contraverial and taboo back in the day. It was one of the things that made Elvis who he was.
I want to give it a bad score because it’s such a tired mannerism to mock. I just can’t. It’s Elvis’s lip curl. Respect it.
1…2…3: ROCK
Mannerism #7: “Miley Cyrus’s Tongue Twisting”
I like Miley Cyrus. She’s got spunk. She went from America’s sweetheart to the mirrored reflection of a generation raised wrong. I’m SURE she’s a nice person and fun to hang out with, but she’s just a kid. She’s living life and learning from mistakes just like the rest of us. Our decisions and mistakes aren’t being covered by TMZ. One of the many things about Miley that people are talking about these days is her use of tongue. Sticking a tongue out is a perfectly okay thing to do. It’s fun and works for many occasions. The problem is that it’s becoming a “thing”. It’s what dumb young girls are doing in pictures now. It used to be back handed peace signs and duck lipped “selfies” and now its twerks and tongues.
I’m a perfectly hetro dude. Of course Miley is attractive and her displaying sexuality is perfectly fine. It’s her right. I don’t care what she does as long as she’s safe, happy, and productive. There are cooler things, more controversial things, and sillier things for her to do as her “thing”.
Gene Simmons is famous for sticking his tongue out and all of that too. That itself should show that using this shtick is a HORRIBLE THING. Anything Gene Simmons does should be an example of what NOT to do. Granted, I’d take Miley’s tongue over Gene Simmons’s ANY DAY OF THE WEEK let the old creep have it. It means more to him and his "brand".
1…2…3: SCISSORS
What is YOUR favorite “mannerism” in music?
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