BY MIKEY MIGO
Everyone has that "friend" who has the tale of waking up next to a less than pleasant lover after a long night of drinking. I believe it's called "beer goggles". Along with this rather common act, I'm starting to think alcohol effects more than just our standards of sexual indulgence.
I'm a firm believer that alcohol also brings down our music standards. The music you're normally into just isn't enough. Be it something completely out of your realm of musical tastes, something old that you've moved on from, or something that's just fun to scream along with; this music will invade our unguarded inhibitions and turn us into freaks. Your ears turn to eager toilets that hungrily take in any shit that's tossed at it. If this music was in your bed when you woke up, you'd feel dirty and wonder who you embarrassed yourself in front of the night before. This is a situation that is inevitable on some degree for everyone who indulges, but there's only so much one should allow themselves to endure.
This is all subjective. It all depends on a person's musical tastes and standards. You may rock what's on my list on the norm and only like what I'm into when you're intoxicated. The point is that it's music that you'd normally avoid while sober. The alcohol/music relationship is normally used for mood enhancers. For instance, if you're bummed out, you can listen to some depressing shit and become even more miserable. But for the most part, at least with who I'm around, it's to have a good time. Sadly, this social choice comes with its penalty.
Here are my top .08 favorite "beer goggle songs" that I recall. ".01" being the tamest and ".08" being when I'm legally drunk.
POINT ZERO ONE
"Yeah!" by Usher
A sip, a mere sip and a loud "YEAH!" will get my heart beating. It's a proven fact that Usher Raymond is smoother than butter, but when you combine beats that could raise the dead then you're on to something. I would never go out of my way for this song, but if and when our paths cross I just may dance. I just need that mere sip first.
POINT ZERO TWO
"Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi
Bon Jovi has no place in this dojo, young squires. I'm not against them. They seem like nice guys and they probably have a really good greatest hits collection, but I don't rock "The Jov". This song is a major exception. While I'd normally respectfully avoid "The Jov", this one, with a little bit of alcohol, is one that I can not only live with but will welcome for its duration. How can you NOT sing or at least nod along with the chorus? I dare you not to without twitching. I dare you! And besides, "Young Guns II" rocked.
POINT ZERO THREE
"Thunderstruck" by AC/DC
I love AC/DC. They were one of the first bands I saw live in concert and they put on one helluva show. Angus tore it up, the crowd rocked it, and the energy made for a great time, but other than that I don't find much AC/DC in my life. I generally like "Back in Black", but "Thunderstruck" is much more entertaining and fun to rock with a few ounces of freedom in your liver.
POINT ZERO FOUR
"Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot
I like this song in small doses. Every so often an old school hip hop party track will sneak up on you and make you remember times when you raised your arms in the air like you just didn't care. This one, along with a few other gems, will always be one of those songs that a mere "buzz" could explode.
POINT ZERO FIVE
"Turn The Page" by Bob Seger
I don't have to be drunk to appreciate this one, but it's just not my cup of tea. I fully acknowledge this is a good song. The vocals of Seger are always impressive and emotive, but I've just never gotten into him. I hear the Metallica version more often and it's decent too, but the classic is classic. With a little bit of booze, I'll start to "feel it".
POINT ZERO SIX
"Thunder Rolls" by Garth Brooks
I don't like country. I despise the style, the simpleton lyrics, and false image of middle America it presents. Say I'm wrong, but there are plenty of educated people from the south and middle America and past literature greats prove that. This song is about as close as a country song can get. This is a man utilizing the country style in a unique way. Come to think of it, I bet R-Kelly saw this once or twice.
POINT ZERO SEVEN
"Faith" by Limp Bizkit
Being in my teens in the mid to late 90's, I could not escape Limp Bizkit. Before "Nookie" and the other songs that really exposed the group for their frat-boy douche-baggery they snuck out their "Faith" cover for people like me to be tricked by. I'm past this though. I've come to terms that I was a dumb kid and "Faith" wasn't even that good to begin with. Pour some booze down my gullet and I'm in 10th grade again. The dude's performance in this video may actually be a reason why I think deep deep DEEP down in my heart I'll probably always love this song.
POINT ZERO EIGHT
"Rock and Roll All Night" by KISS
I'm not a Kiss fan at all. I understand their appeal, but it's just not an area in music that I want any part of. Gene Simmons's personality ruins any potential likeability I could have for this classic rock novelty. This song, when intoxicated, sneaks its way into your being.
LEGALLY DRUNK!
"Pour Some Sugar On Me" by Def Leppard
I don't hate Def Leppard. They're very respectable for what they do and they have lived a great rock and roll "Behind the Music" story. However, this song is for some reason torture for me. It just makes me cringe and pray for a power outage. But once I'm fully drunk this song is great. I'll head bang a little, sing a long, and enjoy my inner 80's rock star but once sober I'll run from this song faster than most.
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