BY MIKEY MIGO
Are you tired of your favorite stadium, music venue, or really tall building being changed to a new corporate name? There's arena's that have been stripped of their original roots and been replaced with names based off donut franchises, cell phone companies, and other commercialized chaos. It's only a matter of time before we don't have a Madison Square Garden, Wrigley Field, or Grand Canyon. It makes my stomach turn just thinking about it. The historic value and class these landmarks and gathering places once had has been raped away from us by corporate America.
I was thinking about this the other day in the midst of a late night conversation with a friend this past weekend. I think the ONLY way I'd be cool with my favorite venues having their name changed is if it's "space-ified". Meaning, that if we colonized other planets or if other athletic or creative life forms or found we'd HAVE to expand our arena names. We could have "White House 3000", "Cyborg Field", or even "The Gravity Bowl". I know that sounds silly, but wouldn't it be at least KINDA cool? Of course! I'm not even a huge science fiction fan, but this would be the only way I'd accept and be HAPPY about a venue's name change. Then it hit me. My fantasy venue! What would it be like if I had unlimited resources and could build my own music/entertainment venue?
NAME: THE GALAXY DOME
First thing's first. In honor of my new "space-ified" plan for all venues I need a good name. I went with THE GALAXY DOME. Even if you despise the band U2 (because you have personal issues that you project on to ironic bands) I assure you that saying "U2 AT THE GALAXY DOME!" a few times will in fact make you feel better about any problem you may have for at least a few seconds.
LOCATION: GARY, INDIANA
So we have a name, now we need a location. I'm going get crazy with it and say that The Galaxy Dome will be in GARY, INDIANA. That's right the multi-time murder capital, birthplace of The Jacksons, and generally a widely forgotten area. It's close enough to my house where I could leave ten minutes before doors and get there in time. I was going to go with Chicago off the bat because it's about a half hour away and I've seen hundreds of great shows in the city. It's the biggest city in the Midwest and we need something monumental. East Coast has MSG and the West has Staples. There's Wrigley Field, but it's just not big enough. Then I remembered Solider Field. I AM a Bears fan, but in the off season it's better to not think about it than lick your wounds. If you've seen Solider Field you'd know that it ALREADY looks like a huge space ship. That totally screwed up my idea. So we can't go with Chicago. So now we have "U2 AT THE GALAXY DOME IN GARY, INDIANA!" Sounds good to me.
STRUCTURE: DOME
We're not getting crazy here. I'm thinking something about the size of two Ford Fields in Detroit. I saw Wrestlemania 23 there and it held over 80,000 people. It's a dome so it's a round structure. So you could take two of the bigger out door venues and put their stages back to back. Then we've have gaps on the sides for entrances and other stuff. Something big enough for two full production concerts, room for concessions and other stuff, and covered with a huge dome. Oh yeah, and I want the whole place to ROTATE!
INTERIOR: BIZZARO/MAD MAX COMBO
It should look like a space ship inside too, but not cold and sterile like in the movies. I'm thinking something like an adult version of "Chuck E. Cheese", without the arcades, kids, and rodent costumes. That whole analogy was to get to one key factor in this thing. I want the pit of at least one of the concert areas to be filled with those little plastic balls. Of course metal shows could get violent, but we can put up that sheer net thing about the pit and all will be well. As for the rest of it, I want it to be eccentric with colors and something reminiscent of "Pee Wee's Playhouse".
If a bizzaro world concert isn't your cup of tea, then this is there the second venue within comes in. In the second venue it'd be a bit darker. It'd be the traditional setting, but with fires, explosions, cage fighters and dancers, and pretty much your "Mad Max" Thunder Dome setting. Imagine the movies "Escape From New York" meets "Hackers", which is basically Blade without the vampires, and it'd be sorta close to it.
Between the venues would be somewhat of an amusement park/bar area. Nothing goes better with roller coasters than an "Android Bomb". (An "Android Bomb" would be like a Jagerbomb, but served in a "syringe shot")
INVESTORS: Oprah Winfrey/Mark Cuban
She's wealthy, from the Chicago area, and her man Steadman is from Gary, Indiana. It's pretty obvious that if you want something done you go to Oprah. She's like a mixture of a Mob Boss and a Fairy God Mother. Mark Cuban would be good because he's pretty eccentric and seems to enjoy taking chances. For this project, that's definitely needed.
FIRST CONCERT: GALAXY FEST!
After going though all this trouble to make the greatest music venue IN THE UNIVERSE, I think I should be rewarded with an annual super show of my favorite bands. I'll keep it simple and go with three bands for each stage. Tickets will cost a low donation of $20 (or more if you can). Every cent will go towards charities and causes that are not getting the attention they need. I'm sure you could think of many yourselves.
Bizarro Stage
Obviously, we have to go with "U2 AT THE GALAXY DOME IN GARY, INDIANA!" I'd put them in the bizzaro world setting with Prince and Mindless Self Indulgence. Prince is a must on ANY "Bizzaro Stage". He's a great musician and I love his music, but the dude is a weirdo and is meant to play in this environment. U2 would embrace it and MSI would destroy it. Because we're cool like that, I'd have a surprise reunion of the Talking Heads, who'd play a full set.
"Mad Max" Stage
Nine Inch Nails! That one is obvious. I'd pay Nine Inch Nails follow me around and play where ever I was all day if I were a trillionaire. I'd let Trent and Rob do whatever set up they'd need. They'd share the bill with the WU-TANG CLAN and TOOL. I think both of those bands would rock in that kind of setting and would be a unique show. Still, it sorta makes sense if you're familiar with the groups. Like how I snuck Talking Heads into the Bizzaro Stage portion, I'd have appearances by David Bowie and Mike Patton.
OVERVIEW: THE GALAXY DOME!
Times are tough for everyone. It's only natural for us to occasionally sit back and take a break from the pressure and stress and just day dream. It's as far fetched as any midday fantasy. The boring discussion of "what'd be your dream concert?" has become passe'. With this you can expand the idea and put your own personality into it.
What would YOUR Dream Venue be?
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