BY MIKEY MIGO
The two things I remember most about standardized testing is:
1.) "A BALOO IS A BEAR. WUZZLE MEANS TO MIX."
2.) Those random comparative relation questions.
The annoying questions like "CUB : BEAR :: CAT : KITTEN" that wasted a lot of our time. Most of the answers were painfully obvious unless you let the test confuse you and make you over think things. It's something that all of us have had to deal with during our various levels of schooling and I hope it continues for future generations. Not because I think it's a relevant form of testing, but because I feel if we had to do it so should everyone else.
The analogy fun doesn't stop there. It's all around us. In casual conversation, I couldn't begin to count the times I compare one movie to another or one band to another. I use the term "it's like if (blank) and (blank) had a baby" A LOT to describe something. We all have our own variations on it. There's nothing wrong with it. We describe things in analogy form all the time. I take pride in thinking of just the right comparison when describing something. Analogies and metaphors are beautiful parts of the English language. I have a friend who refers to me as "The Metaphor Master" because of my love for the wording.
I thought about it and realized that a good analogy is just as impactful as a witty metaphor. I decided to "go old school" and bust out some music related analogies that have been in my head for a little while.
Guitar Hero is to Rock Music AS Ringtones are to Rap Music
I know Guitar Hero and Rock Band are "good because they expose people to music"… but the same can be said for ringtones. I am not a gamer, but being a music lover I do see the appeal of these games. I'm not a cell phone type of person, but again as a music lover I enjoy the occasional ringtone out of the blue. A friend of mine has it set up to where "Twilight Zone" by Golden Earring plays whenever I call him. That's just flat out great. It's easy to hate on ringtone rappers, but just about any and every song could be a ringtone now. It's not exclusive to just the shitty ones like Lil Wayne. The same can be said for the Guitar games. It's not JUST exclusive to "the best bands EVER"… they ARE shitty bands on those games too. Both acts can be considered selling out and both can be considered "presenting your music on a new platform". There's not much difference. At the end of the day, "real rappers" who shit on "ringtone rappers" will still cash their ring tone checks. The pompous musicians who went out of their way to preserve their legacy will still cash their video game checks. It's capitalizing on new technology to promote one's work and to make more profit. It's the same thing.
Hair Metal is the 90's AS Nu-Metal is the 00's
By the time the early 90's was behind us, "hair metal" was considered a passed fad and a punch-line to many music lovers. Many would blame the uprise of grunge music, but I just think "hair metal" simply passed its expiration date. Subgenre's just don't last that long. Same can be said for "Nu-Metal". By the time the early 00's were behind us, "nu-metal" too was an afterthought to the general masses. Many would blame the "The Bands" like "The White Stripes", "The Strokes", etc. Both genres had their upswings here and there due to their diehard fan base, but the common acceptance of the musical stylings were "so yesterday". While bands like "Motley Crue" and "Poison" can still do pretty well on the road and chart respectfully, the same can be said for nu-metal acts like "Korn" or "Disturbed". Music evolves and sometimes genre bands will as well, but when it comes down to it their bread is always buttered by their initial and "outdated" style.
Chris Brown is to Rihanna AS Ike Turner was to Tina Turner
This isn't a joke as so much of wishful thinking. What Ike did to Tina and what Chris did to Rihanna was work of pussies. Hitting a woman is weak sauce and never something I'd condone. To look at it from the ONLY positive way I can, Rihanna is a bigger name because of the incident. She was already popular, but once you're a topic of discussion on Oprah then you're officially "REALLY famous". I make the analogy because after Tina got away from Ike she pretty much had the best part of her career. I'm hoping Rihanna can and will do the same. I'm not even a fan of Rihanna's music or ever her looks, but I'd love to see her future success overshadow the domestic abuse news item. In time, I hope "Rihanna the victim" isn't how this lovely young woman is remembered. Follow Miss Turner's path, dear, PLEASE.
Lady GaGa is to Pop Music AS Master P was to Rap Music
Master P was the ultimate parody of what and who a rapper is/was. Lady CaCa(yeah, typo intended) is in the same boat. Image wise, Master P was over the top with his "gangsta" image. Meanwhile, CaCa holds nothing back in her pathetic attempts to gain attention for being "eccentric". There's a fine line between gaudy and eccentric and CaCa has passed it a few hundred miles ago. Her music is disposable, but because of her being in the pop genre she gets the "it's only pop music, what do you expect?" card used A LOT. Pop music CAN have talented musicians involved as Timberlake, Usher, and the late Michael Jackson have proven. There's no excuse for shitty music. P grew out of it and made success happen for himself elsewhere. I wish the same for CaCa, but that doesn't mean I can't hate what she stands for for the time being. Remember folks, just because it gets stuck in your head doesn't mean it's good. P's and CaCa's music goes just that. It's catchy… but so is herpes.
Platinum Grills are to Hip Hop AS Eyeliner is to Rock Music
I make this comparison because both are ridiculous to wear unless you're in a band or a performer. If you see a random person wearing a grill at the mall then odds are pretty damn good that they're a fan of hip hop. Same for the eyeliner. If you see someone, specifically a male, wearing it then they're most definitely a fan of rock music. It's campy either way and only works for certain people. Flavor Flav without a grill just isn't Flavor Flav. Marilyn Manson without eyeliner is just ugly.
First Grade is to Second Grade AS Disney is to MTV
The old redundancy was saying "MTV doesn't show music videos anymore". For years, music elitist and wannabes would spout off how bad MTV was. This is obvious now, but how obvious they've declined is kind of depressing. I recall a day in age where Music Television had some sort of edge to it. There is NO edge to MTV at all anymore. The proof is in the pudding folks. What used to be for young adults is now for older children. The Miley's, Jonas's, and all the hip hop cross overs have blurred the line of the two separate brands. Even as of a few years ago, MTV and Disney were like comparing apples and oranges. The only thing separating the VMAs from the Kids' Choice Awards is a few, only a few, gallons of slime. Now it's like comparing oranges and tangerines. One is a little rougher to eat, but all in all… they taste pretty much the same.
What are some current musical analogies that YOU find correct?
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