BY MIKEY MIGO
IF EMO IS THE ONLY FOOD LEFT THEN LET ME STARVE.
The past few weeks I've had a pinched nerve in my neck. Not only is it painful all day, but at night it's the most unbearable. Attempting to sleep has been becoming a struggle and a game all rolled into one. So with this forced insomnia, comes dark nights with the glare of the TV screen flashing back at you. I'm not a video game player and I've seen my movie collection way too many times. This leaves me with normal TV to watch. At 3 AM my choices are pretty much infomercials, the sixth replay of Sportscenter, or the music channels. I'm sure you can guess that after the forth replay of Sportscenter, one must give in to the MTVs, VH1s, and Fuse. And guess what? They show music videos! Yes, they actually show music videos on these music channels. Odd concept, I know.
However, it's not as good as it seems. After seeing the same videos over and over again, that seventh replay of Sportscenter looks better and better. It would be different if these were videos of quality songs, but no such luck. You see, these videos are mostly of the Emo variety. Call it taste, call it pride, but I care about myself too much to watch this shit.
So for the hour or two I dose off, I sometimes have nightmares of anorexic looking fem boys with tight clothing and bad hair cuts. They all have the same sounding whiny voice. To be fair, sometimes they'll share a whiny scream. Either way I wake up in cold sweats with my hands over my ears.
I explained this to a friend of mine who's a tad bit older. His comment to me was "At least you didn't have to deal with Disco." Touche,' old man! Touche'!
A KICK IN THE DISCO BALLS.
By the time I was born back in 1983, Disco was considered "dead." It was in the early 70's that it was really popular and big. Starting off in discotheque night clubs and slowly penetrating the radio airwaves, it took the soul, R & B, and pop singers all into this cheesy dance world.
1975 was the year when disco really took off, with hit songs like "The Hustle" and Donna Summer's "Love To Love You Baby" reaching the mainstream. 1975 also marked the release of the first disco mix on album, the A side of Gloria Gaynor's remake of The Jackson 5's "Never Can Say Goodbye." Disco's popularity peaked between 1976 - 1979, driven in part by films such as 1977's classic Saturday Night Fever and 1978's Thank God It's Friday. Disco also gave rise to an increased popularity of line dancing and other partly pre-choreographed dances; many line dances can be seen in films such as Saturday Night Fever, which also features the Hustle.
Overgroomed hair, bell bottoms, polyester suits, and as much tacky taste all thrown together makes up the fashion that Disco brought. Everyone looked like the pimp stereotype back then thanks in part to this genre. One must wonder how the PO-PO could pick out the pimps on the streets back then. Then again, they were ever so busy doing a great job keeping cocaine out of America at the time to worry about that.
Disco is to blame for all of this.
THE TOP TEN COMPARISONS: JUST THE FACTS, FOLKS!
10.) Most of disco sounds the same. Same with Emo.
9.) Guys danced to Disco to pick up women. Guys become Emo in hopes of picking up Emo girls.
8.) Disco peeps looks like stereotypical pimps. Emo peeps look like stereotypical wimps. While not exactly comparable, "pimps" and "wimps" are only one letter off.
7.) Years after Disco faded, jokes still fly about the genre and times. Emo is already being mocked and shit canned by many people.
6.) The growing popularity of disco prompted the major record labels to mass-produce hits for the mass audience. As for Emo? Do you listen to the radio at all?
5.) Disco had tight pants with flared bottoms. Emo has tight pants with artificial rips in them.
4.) Disco was to make you dance. Emo makes you want to cry, hurt yourself, and all while posting about it on your blog. Again, not much of a comparison outside of them making you do something.
3.) Disco had night clubs. Emo has myspace.
2.) Disco had disco balls. Emo has razor blades.
1.) The "rock" that is music continues to roll without disco and sure as hell will without Emo once this trend dies.
CONCLUSION.
Emo is definitely this generation's disco. They have taken from mostly every genre of music and fuck, it's not even the good parts. It's not "punk" too look like a boy band member with a Goth make over, but apparently it's hip. In 1979, Chicago DJs Steve Dahl and Garry Meier along with Michael Veeck (son of the Chicago White Sox owner at the time Bill Veeck) staged a promotional event with an anti-disco theme, "Disco Demolition Night," between games at a White Sox doubleheader. The event involved exploding disco records, and ended in a near-riot. The second game of the doubleheader had to be forfeited.
I'm not saying we should blow anything up or riot, but a "Emo Demolition Night" would be a fun event for all. We just need to make sure we have security and fences. If they got in, their tears would flood the party and of course put out the fires. Just a thought.
|
