BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
“Worst Case Scenario” is a new take on the concept of “fantasy booking”. For years professional wrestling fans would spend endless hours of thinking up the coolest things that could happen. Why waste the energy? This only leads to high expectations. “Worst Case Scenario” flips that. Instead of looking through rose colored glasses, let’s take a bi-weekly look at the worst possible scenarios in professional wrestling. I’m not going to be malicious or anything too mean, but I will not refrain from letting my brain come up with the worst possible shit I can. Sadly, it seems the writers and producers of mainstream TV wrestling and the mainstream iPPV level indies are doing the same thing but charging us for it. And now…
“The Worst Sex Tape In Wrestling!”
In 2004 one of the first professional wrestling related sex tapes hit the scene in the “One Night In China” flick. This one starred Sean “1-2-3 Kid/X-Pac” Waltman and Joanie “Chyna” Laurer. They hang out, have sex, and do weird things. If you’ve seen this “session” then you cannot un-see it no matter how much bleach you put in your eyes. After this, Joanie Laurer would continue working in the adult film industry in other projects.
In 2012 one of the big wrestling tabloid news items was Hulk Hogan’s “leaked” sex tape. He put out a lawsuit over it being leaked, but most people have their doubts. I’m most people. It feels a little too convenient to come out in a time when Hogan’s celebrity status is fading. Each year that passes he oversaturates the reminiscent fans that have clung on. His accomplishments will never be taken away from him, but he is really hard to take seriously.
What happens when these two forces “come together”?
Imagine the TMZ buzz, the internet exploding, and the minds and stomachs being emptied at the thought of the ALMOST SIXTY (8/11/53!) year old Hulk Hogan having “intercourse” with Joanie Laurer. They’d both make tons of money just off the spectacle and at the end of the day that seems to be what matters most. Attention? Check. Money? Check. Uncomfortable for everyone else? Check. A big company like “Vivid” would put it out, the production would be subpar, horrible and cheesy promos would be used, and for some reason Hogan would continue to try to “run things”. By this I mean he’ll try to get his old WCW friends “work” on the project. Hell, would it be THAT shocking if he got Brooke Hogan signed on as well?
The sad part is that I don’t get why this hasn’t happened yet. Joanie has ventured into the business already and I doubt it would take much to get her to take the gig. Hogan is already in the “TNA” business. Hogan’s sex life has been “leaked” on the tape with Bubba the Love Sponge’s wifey. It just all seems really fishy. This seems like the natural progression of things.
In reality, is porn that much worse than TNA?
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