BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
“Worst Case Scenario” is a new take on the concept of “fantasy booking”. For years professional wrestling fans would spend endless hours of thinking up the coolest things that could happen. Why waste the energy? This only leads to high expectations. “Worst Case Scenario” flips that. Instead of looking through rose colored glasses, let’s take a bi-weekly look at the worst possible scenarios in professional wrestling. I’m not going to be malicious or anything too mean, but I will not refrain from letting my brain come up with the worst possible shit I can. Sadly, it seems the writers and producers of mainstream TV wrestling and the mainstream iPPV level indies are doing the same thing but charging us for it. And now…
“Steve Austin Returns to WM30!”
We’ve seen plenty of iconic and hall of famers show up lately. The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Jericho, and a plethora of others show up these days. We’ve seen Triple H, Undertaker, and others show up every so often when it’s convenient for them and to get those big paydays. If wrestlers like Hogan, Flair, and Sting have proven anything, if you’re a successful wrestler you can apparently get away with showing up whenever they want.
Why not “Stone Cold” Steve Austin? His knees are screwed up, but it’s said he could most likely get out one final match. A lot of people have insisted that Austin and CM Punk should happen and I’ve even read some folks say they’d like to see Austin and Rock go at it one more time. If he’s safe and confident he can put on a show, I’ll gladly watch regardless.
The problem is that I don’t want to get my hopes up. I fear for the lamest of circumstances. Imagine Austin showing up at a random RAW to make an appearance to push his TV show, a movie, or whatever. Of course he’s welcomed and the fans would love to see him. He’d end up walking around in the back and bump into Triple H. They’d say something weird to each other and get in each other’s faces.
Nothing would happen for months.
Then when it’s conveniently close to WrestleMania XXX, Triple H simply comes out and calls out Austin. Nothing flashy. Just a long twenty five minute promo where he rambles on and on and barely brings up their “weird moment” from month before. Austin would show up twice before WrestleMania and not wrestle at all.
So we’d have Triple H, part time wrestler/full time owner, defending the McMahon honor by taking out their biggest foe and someone that he “needs to beat” in “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. Triple H would win of course. Afterwards, he and Austin would shake hands. Triple H would then kick Austin in the gut and proceed to give HIM the Stone Cold Stunner.
The Game has NO Bottom Line. Ugh.
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