BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
“Worst Case Scenario” is a new take on the concept of “fantasy booking”. For years professional wrestling fans would spend endless hours of thinking up the coolest things that could happen. Why waste the energy? This only leads to high expectations. “Worst Case Scenario” flips that. Instead of looking through rose colored glasses, let’s take a bi-weekly look at the worst possible scenarios in professional wrestling. I’m not going to be malicious or anything too mean, but I will not refrain from letting my brain come up with the worst possible shit I can. Sadly, it seems the writers and producers of mainstream TV wrestling and the mainstream iPPV level indies are doing the same thing but charging us for it. And now…
“The 4 Horsemen Return!”
The Four Horsemen is one of the best and most respected wrestling stables of all time. We can’t deny this. The lineage is as impressive as any group of all time. People will often cite the nWo, DX, or even the Hart Foundation as their favorite stable of all time. You can have your favorites all day, but when we talk about the BEST there is no other.
We had Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Ole Anderson, Tully, Lex, Mongo, Pillman, and pretty much an all-star lineup. Flair was one constant in the group and Arn was always around too. This crew would run shop on NWA and WCW for years. They were dominate, they were classy, and they were the cream of the crop coming together to join in beat downs, ladies, partying, and of course holding up those four magic fingers. When you saw those four fingers raised in the air, you knew shit was about to get real. That bad ass horse grunt into one of the coolest theme songs ever… then bam! There they were.
Others have tried to recapture this kind of glory, but failed. The Evolution, The Millionaires Club, the Legacy, and others have tried to put together their own dominate classy heel group. They’ve all had their own successes, but no one came close to the impact of the Horsemen. Outside of DX and nWo, I’d have a hard time thinking of anyone who was even at their level.
The WWE owns everything. Even you! This means they most likely own the name and branding that goes a long with being a Horseman. They’re out of ideas and have a roster of people not being used. This is where it all comes back… but of course it’d suck.
The WWE seems to have issues with Ric Flair. So off the bat, we’re going to use this whole situation to kind of stick it to the ol’ Nature Boy and company. Hell, despite the fact Arn Anderson is in the back he too will not be involved. Instead, it goes like this.
On a random RAW, a man shows up in the front row. We don’t focus on him, but he’s obviously a presence. The camera scrolls by him and he raises the four fingers. Instantly the smarks realize it’s JJ Dillon, the Horsemen’s manager of old. He is pointed out and for some reason keeps showing up. It’s obvious here’s there for something. He has run-ins with talent where he holds up the four fingers and then turns them down and leaves.
Finally someone like CM Punk is beating a Health Slater in a squash match. Punk confronts Dillon. Dillon holds up the four, Punk smirks and holds it up too. The crowd goes nuts. Dillon turns it down and then out of nowhere Heath Slater hits Punk from behind with a kendo stick!
From there JJ Dillon manages Heath Slater, who starts to dress more glam rock. Noticeably, he wears a rock star robe of some sorts. He leaves the 3 Man Band. He talks about how he went from being a One Man Band to a 3 Man Band to the leader of the NEW 4 Horsemen. He’s the best counter in the business!
He would eventually be joined by his own enforcer… BO DALLAS! Bo Dallas would take on the role of Arn Anderson in this crew. To fill it out, Tons of Funk get repackaged as evil heels. I imagine what it would be like to see Cedric the Entertainer as a heel, colorful suits and all…
So The NEW 4 Horsemen is “Nature Boy” Heath Slater, “The Enforcer” Bo Dallas, “King Reptar” Brodus Clay, and “Sweet T” Albert Tensi… managed by JJ Dillon.
Print the money!
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