BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER|
“Worst Case Scenario” is a new take on the concept of “fantasy booking”. For years professional wrestling fans would spend endless hours of thinking up the coolest things that could happen. Why waste the energy? This only leads to high expectations. “Worst Case Scenario” flips that. Instead of looking through rose colored glasses, let’s take a bi-weekly look at the worst possible scenarios in professional wrestling. I’m not going to be malicious or anything too mean, but I will not refrain from letting my brain come up with the worst possible shit I can. Sadly, it seems the writers and producers of mainstream TV wrestling and the mainstream iPPV level indies are doing the same thing but charging us for it. And now…
“WWE Literally Pushes John Cena To the Moon!”
The WWE has been “shoving John Cena down our throats” for years.
I think everyone, even the most rational of people, had had a moment or two where they frown at the television and get upset by the amount of camera time and super human conquests of John Cena. He always wins. He never loses and he overcomes all evil. The crowd can boo or cheer him as loud as they can but at the end of the day he’ll overcome crap and be standing tall in his overly dramatic and overly done way. He’s not bad. He does a great job sometimes, but not nearly enough to merit the stature. John Cena is a great performer and does well in his role. His whole persona and history is a written story. He took the ball and ran with it and since the WWE had no other viable option to put their chips behind we’ve been given Cena over and over again.
There’s not much left, right?
Well, we’ve all heard the phrase “they pushed that guy to the moon!”. We’ve heard it in terms of Ryback, Goldberg, Orton, and of course Cena. It’s a metaphor for a company getting behind a certain superstar in order to see to it that they’ll be the top guy. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. For the WWE, the only option left is to literally push John Cena… TO THE MOON!
The idea would be pretty cool from a creative stand point, but would destroy any and all respecting logic left in the WWE’s hands. The story would have to involve a monster heel showing up and beating up everyone. We’d finally reveal that the reason he can’t be hurt and defeated is because this monster is… AN ALIEN!
He takes the belt and goes to his home planet. The WWE is left without a World Title. John Cena then challenges this being to a fight. I mean of course John Cena would stand up against the aliens and defend his company, right?
So Cena makes the challenge… Him… The Monster… The WWE Title… ON THE MOON!
Cena spends months preparing, going to space camp, and studying physics.
In the end… Cena goes over the monster clean. He teases a heel turn, but in the end kisses an alien baby and introduces his newest shirt.