BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
This is the final episode for now. It’s just a weird column to try to think of material for every week. I cringe at some of the older ones I did like the worst case scenario of Dolph Ziggler’s cashing in of his Money in the Bank. I came up with a horrible idea that would have actually been more eventful than his actual cash in. There are a lot of those. I tend to like the alternate universe scenarios and rant ones like TNA’s Podcast Network, John Cena Going Heel On the Business and of course the McMahon Coliseum WrestleMania. Thanks for reading!
“Worst Case Scenario” is a new take on the concept of “fantasy booking”. For years professional wrestling fans would spend endless hours of thinking up the coolest things that could happen. Why waste the energy? This only leads to high expectations. “Worst Case Scenario” flips that. Instead of looking through rose colored glasses, let’s take a bi-weekly look at the worst possible scenarios in professional wrestling. I’m not going to be malicious or anything too mean, but I will not refrain from letting my brain come up with the worst possible shit I can. Sadly, it seems the writers and producers of mainstream TV wrestling and the mainstream iPPV level indies are doing the same thing but charging us for it. And now…
“The Series Finale of Monday Night RAW!”
We are in the golden age of television. There are so many great teleivison shows out there right now and over the past ten or so years. The rise of cable networks like HBO and Showtime brought us tons of great shows and in recent years channels like AMC, FX, USA, TNT, and other basic cable networks are dropping magic on us. Off the top of my head shows like “Breaking Bad”, “Dexter”, “Game of Thrones”, “Walking Dead”, and others have all stirred up tons of fandom, critical acclaim and love.
The greatest television shows have big endings. The promotional machines of “the final season” always makes it that much more special. Sometimes certain shows have rises and falls. A show will blow up, get the love and have a fall off when the show loses it’s luster or the writing decays. It happens. One show that has rose and fallen and rose and fallen is Monday Night RAW.
Today, RAW gets cancelled. It’s not being renewed and the official end of RAW is pending. This isn’t the end of WWE though. WWE will live through the WWE Network exclusively and becomes its own private entertainment entity. No more television, except for Total Divas and the occasional televised special to push the bigger events, Tribute to the Troops and some retrospectives.
RAW has a few weeks left before it’s going to it’s own Network. The goal is to put a big bow on the decades of entertainment and storylines and to get people to subscribe to the network.
The best way to do this is to leave a big ass cliff hanger and to blow people’s minds.
That way is MURDER. The WWE will kill off a character. We can have a few months of hints leading up that one former disgruntled wrestler is going to come back and take the life of someone else in order to get back at the company for ruining their live, other’s lives, and for turning “wrestling” to “sports entertainment”.
The plot reveals slowly as notes, videos, and random hints are thrown out there. Panic ensues. Wrestlers decide to “take a leave”, certain stars go crazy, friends turn on each other, and all hell breaks loose. The attempt to get “the authorities involved”, but somehow the threat is still overriding the broadcast, getting notes to stars, and getting “inside”.
This all comes down to the series finale.
Everyone is on edge and Vince McMahon and Triple H send Stephanie away, but remain there to fight anyone off. John Cena and Randy Orton are standing guard and working together as they’ve been in the company together since 2003 and have a bond. Younger guys are looking to the indies for work. Second and third generation guys are talking to their dads and freaking out.
The show is almost over. The final match in the history of RAW is Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk but in a lumberjack match because the WWE locker room shows unity and wants to give the fans one final goodbye and to do so they must protect the wrestlers. Bryan wins after a great match. Let’s have fun and say it’s the best match of all time because I’m sure the internet would anyway.
In the middle of a “Yes!” chant…the lights go out.
There is screaming. The lights come back on and everyone is quiet. You can hear a pin drop. The wrestlers all look around and some have taken cover. Everyone slowly gets up and realizes they are okay and those around them are okay.
The camera cuts to backstage. Triple H looks around and tells someone off camera the coast is clear and we’re all okay. Suddenly a hand with a GUN appears on the corner of the screen. Vince McMahon dives in front of Triple H and IS SHOT!
Triple H is saved byVince. Vince slowly fades as Triple H holds him and freaks the fuck out. Orton, Cena, and the locker room circle around him. We hear “He’s dead. Vince is dead” as people freak out and cry. The camera fades.
RAW is over. To find out who killed Vince and how things will carry on… SUBSCRIBE TO THE WWE NETWORK!
Roll credits.
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